Dios Mabalos Sir Jesse!

Sa paglisan ng isang huwarang pinuno, ang dating masayang lungsod ng Naga ay napalitan ng lungkot at pangungulila. Wala namang nag-akala na mangyayari ito lalo pa't sakanya, pero sadyang ganyan talaga ang buhay parang isang bula na bigla nalang puputok at mawawala. Gusto ko lang ibahagi itong isang artikulo na isinulat ni JHOANNA PAOLA BALLARAN sa Rappler. Hindi ko alam, basta naluluha ako na may kaunting saya habang binabasa ko ito. Sana mabasa nyo rin at sa huling pagkakataon ay makapagbigay-pugay tayo sa isang tao na nagpatunay na posible parin ang tuwid at malinis na pamumuno sa naghihikahos na bansa.                                                                        Video Credits:  Roje Semblante

probe exp. 009

PROBE EXP. 008

"Huwag mong tatakbuhan ang iyong mga takot, bagkus harapin ito ng buong paghahanda dahil sa paraang ito lamang ika'y magiging tunay na matatag."

Isang linggo na naman ang lumipas. Isang bagyo na naman ang dumaan sa Pilipinas. At hindi lang isa kundi tatlong napaka challenging experience na naman ang aking naranasan sa pananatili ko dito sa UPI.

Sa simula ng linggo medyo hindi na maganda ang panahon. Ilang araw na ring hindi nagpapakita si haring araw pero hindi ako papapigil upang gampanan ang mga trabahong dapat gawin. Nakakatuwang isipin na gumagaling na yata ako pagdating sa pag-book ng mga shoots. Halos tatlong tawag lang pumapayag na sila agad. Pagdating naman sa pag-transcribe, naku konting push nalang masasaulo ko na talaga ang keyboard na kahit hindi na tumingin ay kaya kong magtype. Malaking tulong ang mga hindi matapos-tapos na mga AIFF files upang ma-train ako hindi lang sa pagtatype pati na rin sa pagpapahaba ng aking pasensya.

Noong Martes first time kong na-experience na walang pasok sa opisina sapagkat sobrang tindi ng ulan. I therefore conclude hindi waterproof ang mga tao sa UPI (haha joke lang pows!)

Sa pagpasok ko uli sa opisina, naku napasabak agad ako sa matinding aksyon. Ang dapat na shoot sa senado ay naging shoot sa baha, kaya na-waley ang aking casual attire. Dito ko na-experiece yung mala journalist ang peg na nag-cocover ng mga nasalanta at i-experience mo talaga yung baha. Saludo ako sa kasama kong producer na walang arte-arte at handang gawin ang lahat makunan lang ang dapat na eksena. Kahit lumusong sa baha, habulin at akyatin kahit ang truck ng basura para makisakay, at kahit magpaikot-ikot at madumihan ang katawan. Mediang-media ang feeling ko nung araw na iyon. Kahit medyo natatakot na baka anong mangyari sakin kasi alam kong hindi ko naman kayang makipagsabayan, sige lang ng sige kasi ang totoo masaya na thrilling ang experience.

Sa parehong araw din ay first time ever kinausap ako ni ma'am Cheche Lazaro. Halos mapaupo ako sa sobrang kaba at hindi ko masambit ng tama ang mga letra. Nautusan pa akong mag-abot ng dokumento, naku eto na naman tayo. Nanginginig parin ang kamay ko at nangangatal ang aking dila paglapit ko sakanya. Tapos eto yung pinaka matindi, naatasan akong i-direct sa mga gagawing sitners si ma'am Cheche naku epic fail na naman yata to, parang na-mental block ako at di ko maigalaw ang sarili ko. Hindi naman siguro sa takot ako sakanya pero yung feeling na ewan di ko ma-explain. Kakaibang experience na naman

Sa mga sumunod na araw, sunod-sunod ang mga interviews. At mula sa mga interviews na yun ay madami ang natututunan. Eto yata ang isa sa mga benefits sa pagtatrabaho sa media kasi continuous ang learning parang nakikinig ka lang sa lecture ng guro tuwing may interview.

At ang pinakahuli sa mga challenging experience ngayong linggo ay ang pagpunta namin sa bahay ng isang sikat at big time na pulitiko dito sa bansa. Syempre medyo alangan ako dahil kahit ano mang oras kapag may mali akong ginawa ay pwede ako mabaril at di na huminga pang muli. Kinakabahan din noong una sapagkat isa rin ito sa malalaking projects na aming hinahawakan ngayon kaya dapat maayos at pulido ang trabaho.

Sa pagkalahatan, halos madaming first time at challenging experience ang nangyari sa linggong ito. Sobrang pasasalamat ko sa mga tasks noong mga nakaraang linggo dahil na-train at naihanda na kami kahit papaano para gampanan ang mga ganitong trabaho.

Probe Exp. 007

MNL143 = Ninay143

Gusto ko lang i-share itong isang kanta at ang boses ng isang dalagang pinagpala ang boses. Di man sya biritera pero yung feeling na hanggang sa pagtulog mo maririnig mo ang boses nya na tunog lullaby. :))

#DreamyVoice

PROBE EXP. 006

"i-Push natin yan at bigyan natin ng chance!"

Anyway, kung napansin nyo tatlong araw lang ako pumasok nitong linggo. Nagbakasyon kasi ako ng ilang araw sa Bicol at may mga inasikaso naring importanteng bagay.


Sa tatlong araw na pananatili ko sa opisina, medyo natambakan kami ng trabaho sapagkat sunod sunod na ang projects na paparating. Kailangan mag multi-tasking, transcribe ka ng 1 million minutes, tapos book mo si Winnie the Pooh and friends, tapos mamaya may meeting and brainstorming. Okay lang naman dahil gaya ng dati tulong-tulong parin para maging mabilisan ang paggawa. Push lang ng push alang-alang sa magandang proyekto.

Ramdam na ramdam ko na ang Buhay Production ika nga. Pagod at puyat, pauli-ulit at nakakangalay, pressured and energy demanding, pero alam mo yung pakiramdam na di ka naboboring at Go ka parin. Siguro ganun talaga kapag gusto mo yung trabaho.

Medyo nakaluwag-luwag na rin dahil natapos nang i-shoot lahat ng interviews and sitners na kailangan para sa aming activity. Medyo excited na rin nga akong i-edit at makita ang kalalabasan ng shoot. Gaya ng dati, natatawa parin ako sa kinalalabasan ng aking script tuwing chini-check ni Ma'am Booma. Naku masyadong makulay at ang dating 4-page script ay nagiging 6 pages. Nakakatuwa, kahit madaming puna pero nandun parin ang pagkatuto sa mga mali mo. Mas lalo tuloy ako nai-inspire magsulat.

Sa pag-uwi ko naman sa Bicol, madami akong trabahong naiwan. Balak ko naman iuwi ngunit pag-uwi ko ay dinatnan ako ng lagnat. Salamat kay Loi sa pagsalo ng mga gawain na nakaatang sa akin. Dahil din sa pag-uwi ko nabigyan ako ng chance na makapagpahinga at makapag nilay-nilay kahit saglit. Alam kong madami akong mami-miss sa ilang araw kong pagliban. Babawi nalang ako sa pagbalik ko.

Hanggang sa muli kong pagbabalik sa bagong buhay na aking tinatahak. I-push at bigyan natin nang chance yan. :))

Probe Exp. 005

A(r)TENEANS

Staying a bit late in the office gives me the luxury to read and read a lot (I seldom have the opportunity to read at home because of too much disturbances and B.I). While browsing the internet and looking for some good reads from other co-bloggers, I accidentally clicked the arrow key to someone's TUMBLR account and read something very interesting. Let's all read aloud and later argue about this...



I was having dinner with my boss and her husband (all three of us Ateneans) when we talked about the difference with how Gloria and Noynoy sees life. Gloria being the realistic one and Noynoy being the usual, ideal Atenean. Then her husband started narrating about how only few Ateneans become successful in life at the age of 40, with his roster of friends as a perfect example. People at the age of 40 who still don’t own a car and cannot even settle down for once. Or worst, they just realized the right thing to do to become successful but it was too late already. And here are the things we talked about over dinner, and his advice to fresh graduate Ateneans like me. And this made sense, I am telling you. THIS WILL BE MY DIRECTION IN LIFE.


1. Having our heads up “on the hill” a.k.a too much self-esteem/ Atenean pride

The first thing that I realized when I worked is wherever you work, you can never use your school as your ticket to success. It can be an advantage for you at first, but if you only use the school name as your claim to fame, then you’re doomed. He said that the flaw of his Atenean employees (he has 120 employees all over the Philippines, btw) is that they NEVER would want to report to someone who came from a school which they think is too low for their standards. They believe that they’re smarter than their boss, who for example came from AMA or STI. But ofcourse, there’s a reason why that person became the boss. And that’s one thing you don’t have that’s why you’re the employee. Ateneans always assume that because they graduated from a good school, they should always get the jobs that would fit their high standards. And I have noticed this with my friends who always wonder why I stick to my job even though I only photocopy and print most of the time, and do errands. ARteneans always expect job to be convenient. But all things always start from scratch, and you start at the dirt bottom of it all. And if I had to photocopy, then I’d do it, because it’s part of my job. And this is what we lack, this right attitude called HUMILITY.


2. We have the right education, but not the right attitude: Humility

He told me about how he learned humility the hard way. He used to have the Atenean attitude of being so mayabang, complaining too much (I used to do this, and ALL of my working friends complain a lot, and compare bosses too). And this is one thing we should get rid of. Because for one, employers would prefer hiring people who would do EVERYTHING, even though it’s not part of your job description, because it only shows that you are a very good asset to the company. You are bringing so much to the table that the boss will give you more opportunities to excel because you’re willing. If you had to commute to faraway places, buy flowers in the afternoon, buy this and go to the office on Saturday, or even deliver things yourself because of the lack of manpower, YOU SHOULD DO IT. Because it only shows how determined you are to keep your job. Stop computing if your salary would compensate for the difficult things that you’d do. You should be so good that you can replace your boss. You are so good that he/she needs you so much to function. Why would they hire someone who does not make things happen? Who will just let the situation pass and wouldn’t move mountains to give the boss decent answers or suggestions?


3. The Employer Thinking vs. The Employee Thinking: Thinking LIKE A BOSS

To be the best worker, you should think as the EMPLOYER. How? You should always be wary of all the things your boss needs, prefers, etc. Will my boss like this attitude? What will my boss think if I say this? or that? Will this be good for the company? What else does he/she needs for the next day? What else should I do so that he wouldn’t worry? You should be good in assessing the things your boss likes and needs, because its also part of you becoming the boss someday. You are doing good in work and at the same time you are honing yourself to becoming the next boss by thinking like a boss, and not thinking like an employee. Over-think, over-analyze, be AHEAD of the game. If you keep on thinking like an employee, you’ll be an employee FOREVER.


4. Having side goals - for GROWTH

The wrong attitude that people have is that they are so narrow-minded with opportunities. I could say that I am doing well on this part, because I am working now for my dream job. My boss’ husband said, that while you have your work now, and EVEN IF IT’S NOT THE JOB YOU WANT, you should be good because it will prepare you for the work that you’ll have to do once you have the job you want. It’s not necessary that you start with your dream job, like what I said, humility - accept the job even if it’s not your dream job, and do good with it because it will be your first step in mastering the art of working. It’s also good that you have goals on the side and you are open to other opportunities because it will make you grow. It will inspire you to dream bigger and achieve that almost impossible goal. Save up for it if you really want it. If your dream is to become a dancer, even if you think it won’t sustain you for life, money will come to you if you keep on doing what you like and you have the right attitude. It may be a long road, but if you really want it, then you’ll get it no matter the consequences.


5. Keeping the FAITH. Avoid short-cuts.

We Ateneans always want the SHORT-CUT. But the way to success, is always long and winding, and VERY HARD. For my boss, it took them more than 10 years to reap the good life. At first they said, you will feel afraid because you are clueless of what will happen in the future. Everybody will have that phase. But IF YOU WORK HARD, AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE, of course God would notice and give you the blessings you deserve. At the age of 40 most people ask, how come God never gave me the opportunity? God always gives us the opportunity, but we never found the right attitude that came with the opportunity. And this includes the long wait. Work hard and blessings will come — TREMENDOUSLY, and you’ll never know. Like what they said, they couldn’t imagine that they have gone this far because it used to be, that all things were uncertain. But they kept on working hard. 10 years is a long way to go, but it’s all worth it.


6. Having the right people around you — BE SUPPORTIVE of your partner

Get a partner who wouldn’t pull you down. If your partner needs to go home late to do over-time, you better support him/her. It’s for your future. Both of you needs to sustain each other’s passion for work because it will be the thing that you will bank on when you will have a family. Encourage your partner to do better even if work is really hard. If you trust that both of you will end up together, then quit arguing about not having enough time. If you clearly understand both of your goals, then you will inspire each other and compromise for that lost time instead of dwelling too much on how toxic work has become.


7. Being men and women for others — THE RIGHT WAY
We Ateneans, are SO opinionated that we believe so much our opinion would change the course of the world. But the truth is, real life beyond the school grounds SUCKS BIG TIME. It’s so complicated, full of doubts, it’s something you cannot describe but you have to experience it. We should stop talking too much — pointing out faults of others, praising ourselves that we do the right things all the time when in fact we only blabber a lot. Being real men and women for others means you have to WORK FOR IT. For example, having a successful company would also mean getting more employees and providing opportunities. It’s not always about service and practicing humility by going to typhoon victims. It’s also about making others lives more bearable, more stable, giving them growth. And when you do this, you are not only changing someone’s life for a day by giving out cash donations, or being a volunteer, you are CHANGING THE COURSE OF THEIR LIVES AND THEIR FAMILIES. You ARE MAKING A LONG-TERM CHANGE that will alter the difficult situation of the people who deserve it.

I couldn’t agree more on what we talked about and I want you to share this with other Ateneans. I hope I wouldn’t be bashed for this post. You know naman some Ateneans love correcting grammar and seeing faults on the opinion of others. I just want others to be aware and make the right head-start. So let’s take this by heart and make that successful future a reality!

-AMDG-

Probe Exp. 004

"Ang buhay parang palabas sa TV o isang pelikula, lahat kailangan magtapos. Ngunit dapat huwag malungkot sapagkat sa bawat pagtatapos ay may bagong kabanatang magbubukas. At mananatili ang mga alaala ng lumipas." (DINO, 2012)

Unang araw palang ng linggo ay nasabak na agad kami sa isang hamon kung saan susubukin ang aming galing sa pagsusulat ng makabuluhang script. Ang buong akala ko ay magiging simple lang ang lahat sapagkat noon pa man ay nakagawa na ako ng mga script. AKO'Y NAGKAMALI, HINDI PALA MADALI. Bukod sa sabaw ang interview na aking napili (Shoe Repair) ay mahirap din humugot ng istorya kung wala ka namang first hand experience. Hanggang sa nabuo ko na nga ang script at sa tingin ko yun nalang ang inabot ng pag-iisip ko.

Open E-mail...
Send script...
Wait for a day...
and Feedback...

"Naiintindihan ko na mula sa transcript ng interview, mahirap makagawa ng isang matinong script. at di nga ako nagkamali. huwag ka mag-alala dahil, tulad ng sabi ko, naintindihan ko." (Booma, 2012)

Natawa nalang ako...
Tapos biglang nalungkot...

Nalungkot ako hindi dahil sa epic fail ang kinalabasan ng aking script, kundi dahil sa biglaang pagkamatay ni Dolphy. Hindi man ako lumaking idolo si Mang Dolphy, nasubaybayan ko rin ang ilan sa kanyang mga palabas sa TV habang ako'y nagkakaisip. Lumalim pa ito, noong magsimula akong magtrabaho dito sa Probe TV, halos isang buwan ko rin naming inungkat at sinubaybayan ang buhay ni Mang Dolphy. Mula sa mga pelikula, kwentong pag-ibig hanggang sa kanyang pribadong buhay. Mas nakilala ko ng buo kung sino ba talaga si Mang Dolphy na tinuturing ng marami na nag-iisang Hari ng Komedya.

Sa biglaan niyang paglisan sa mundo, nagkagulo rin ang industriya ng media. At isa kami sa mga nabagabag sapagkat kailangan ng madaliin ang ginagawa naming special docu na laan lamang para sa kanya. Ako naman, buong puso at tiyaga talaga akong tumulong alang-alang sa ikagaganda ng programa at kahit man lang sa huling pagkakataon ay maipakita ko ang aking pagsaludo sa nag-iisang Mang Dolphy. Nabigla lang ako nang kami ang naatasan pumili ng shots sa bawat segment. Nakakaexcite na nakakatakot pero nakaya naman sapagkat nakaantabay ka naman sa pag edit supervise. Higit sa lahat, isang magandang experience makatrabaho ang mga tao na may sipag at may dedikasyon sa napili nilang larangan. Nakita ko kung paano nagagawa ang mga imposible at kung paano nila binibigyang pagpapahalaga kahit ang mga mumunting trabaho.

Now Showing "HARI NG KOMEDYA"

P.S
Laking tuwa ko ng makita ko ang aking pangalan sa hulihan ng palabas. Napawi lahat ng pagod at ang halos isang buwan na paghihintay. First time TV credits! *hooray! :)

Probe Exp. 003

"Pasensya ay habaan sapagkat sa Production ito ay higit na kailangan." (DINO, 2012)

Bago paman magsimula ang linggo, alam ko ng magiging mahirap ang mga susunod na araw sapagkat wala ang bibo kid na si Loi. Tingin ko lahat nang mahihirap na gawain ay mapupunta pansamantala sa aking mga kamay. Datapwat, naging okay at madali naman ang ibang gawain sa simula ng linggo dahil andyan naman ang dalawang taga-UP (si Kaya at Natalie) na sanggang dikit ko sa mga gawain at pati narin sa kalokohan dito sa Probe.

Transcribe niyo yung interview ni ano, timecode niyo yung transcript ni ano, log and transfer niyo ang mga ito, at tapos punta kayo agad sa ABS para mag-Dalet dahil urgent na ito. Tulong-tulong kaming tatlo sa mga gawain upang matapos ng mas mabilis at maaga, pero syempre hindi sa lahat ng oras ay nandito sila sa opisina upang may makatulong ako sa trabaho.

At dito na nagsimula ang lahat...

Isang beses ay naatasan ako ng kataas-taasan at kagalang-galangang pinuno ng UPI na sumama at pamunuan ang shoot kasama ang buong crew sa may bandang Recto. Isang jurassic na sinehan ang location shoot at kailangan makakuha kami ng mga creative shots na gagamitin sa isang importanteng palabas. Medyo nangatog ang mga tuhod ko at biglang na-speechless ako ng mga tatlumpo't isang segundo. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kaya naman todo tanong at notes na ako sa mga dapat gawin bilang P.A sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon. Ang buong akala ko ay maayos na ang lahat at nakuha ko na lahat ng impormasyon na kinakailangan. Buong akala ko rin ay maayos na ang pag-uusap ng aming kontak at yung pupupuntahan namin na may-ari ng sinehan.

Hanggang sa panahon na naroroon na nga kami sa lugar, isang matandang hukluban na bantay sarado at hilig ang pag-aamok ang aming nadatnan. Bilang nag-iisang P.A kailangan paamuhin, lambingin, pakalmahin, pababain ang presyon at kung ano-ano pang panunuyo na handa naman gawin nang inyong lingkod dahil siya parin ang may-control sa magiging sitwasyon ng aming shoot. Ginawa ko naman ang dapat. Kausapin ng maayos at mahinahon sa kabila ng kanyang mga reklamo, mataas na tono ng boses at ang kanyang paulit-ulit na pagpaparinig, pero tingin ko sa puntong iyon ako ang pinaka-apektado. Ano ano nalang ang pinagsasabi nya at minsan ayaw ko na talagang makinig, magtatakip nalang ng tenga. Kahit gaano ko man gustuhin na bombahin nalang ang sinehan kasama siya, syempre hindi pupwede iyon. Sinusunod ko nalang ang mga kagustuhan niya at kung maaari nakikiusap alang-alang sa magandang creative shots.

Hindi ko lang pinapahalata pero rattled na talaga ako sa mga oras na iyon. Inaamin ko naman na pagdating sa mga bagay-bagay ay mabagal ako magdesisyon at makaisip ng solusyon. Halos ibinuhos ko ng lahat upang mapatahimik lang sa pag-aamok si nanay. Epektib naman siguro kahit papano sapagkat natapos rin namin lahat ng dapat gawin. Yung nga lang ang sakit ng mga huling binitiwan n nanay na mga salita:

(Mahinang boses) "Sana tinanong niyo man lang ako kung anong gusto kong kainin."

"Sige na alis na kayo. Babush (laugh) Sa susunod huwag na kayong uulit. Hindi na kayo makakaulit pa dito. Na stress tuloy ako! (laugh)"

Pasensya narin po at sa susunod po hindi na po talaga ako uulit sainyo. LOL

P.S
Natapos naman ang linggong ito na masaya sapagkat natuto ako sa kung paano ang proseso sa pag Audio Bed. Masaya na nakakatanga at kailangan din ng pasensya sa mighty mouse. :)

Probe Exp. 002

Probe Exp. 001

Journal Entry #101
(June 18-23, 1st week)

To work in UPI coming all the way from a certain uncivilized land in the country, it was already a risk. Hence, I can say that as of the moment it was all worth the time, travel, effort and spending.

And to add, the experience this week @UPI can be describe in four letter word... EPIC!

Ecstatic
Phenomenal
Interesting
Challenging

CLERICAL WORKS (research, booking, transcribing, etc.) - Definitely the least job i want to do because I become immobile. However, in UPI I'm starting to like it already. Lol, anyhow I'm new in booking that's why everytime I make calls I feel uneasy.

SHOOTING - So far, for me this is the best part. I don't care who will be on the set, rather I am after to how the set is arranged and how the equipment and other stuffs are operated. I'm really amazed to how it works differently from behind the scene.

STAFF, CREW & SECURITY - They're all welcoming and happy people, though some of them are sometimes moody. Lol, also most of them are accomodating and will really guide you towards the tasks. Glad to meet you all.

Probe TV Journal

it's been quite sometime already since i last visited my blog and make an update.
i was too preoccupied by the challenges and changes happening in my life today,
i could not even afford to look at myself for five minutes in front of the mirror,
or even scrub my whole body and then stay for an hour inside the bathroom.

the things and rituals i used to do before are slowly getting out of my daily routine
i sometimes hate myself for looking this way & for being born not so good looking

well insecurities really sucks! 

anyway since writing takes so much time, and i am too lazy to make another post just for this blog, starting from now i would be posting all my journal entries that we are doing every week as apprentice here at Probe.

PS.
Kindly like our Facebook page @ http://www.facebook.com/UnlimitedProductionsInc
Also follow as on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/probetv

Thank You! :)

Just Posting

Kumusta na?!


Anong bago?!


Ilang linggo na rin pala na wala akong dalang balita...


Magtatapos na ang Hunyo...


Nagdaan na ang Birthday ko...


Gasgas na ang pagkakuha ko sa Trabaho...


Eto parin ako!


Hayaan nyo kapag nagka-oras ako, susulat ako...


Sadyang malungkot lang and buhay na sinisimulang tahakin ko.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,

If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

Pili Not

Araw ngayon ng kalayaan ng Pilipinas... Mabuhay ang mga Pilipino... Pero wala akong maisip i-blog patungkol dito... Hayaan nyo nalang akong magbuhos ng ilang bagay na gumugulo sa aking mumunting isip.

Minsan sa buhay, hindi natin maiiwasang maharap sa isang sitwasyon kung saan kailangan tayong pumili. Mahirap lalo na kung ito ay sa pagitan ng dalawang bagay na sa tingin natin ay parehong may mabuting maidudulot. Pero gaya ng mga exam sa eskwela, bago matapos ang inilaan na oras ay kailangan nating magdesisyon kung nais talaga natin makakuha ng mataas na marka.

Kamakailan lang, naharap ako sa parehong sitwasyon. Isang desisyon na magdidikta sa aking kinabukasan...

Siguro para sa ibang tao madali lamang itong pagdesisyunan. Pero para sa akin, isa ito sa mga bagay na lubos akong nahirapan. Alin ba ang mas makakabuti para sa akin: ang mag-aral muli sa pag-asang balang araw ay may naghihintay na mas magandang opurtunidad, o ang simulan na ang paghahanap sa swerte at unti-unting ipundar ang mga pangarap? Mahirap sapagkat lubos akong napamahal at pinapahalagahan ko ang pag-aaral. Mahirap sapagkat masyado pa akong bata para magtrabaho pero kinakailangan.

Salamat sa payo at yakap mula sa isang espesyal na kaibigan. Ang sabi nya sa akin, "Aw. Huuugs. Siguro ganito nalang, kung 50:50 ngayon ikaw. Kapag nakapili kana kung ano talaga. Do your best to make that 50% a 100%. Para no regrets in the end."


Sa tulong niya'y nakapagdesisyon akong piliin ang pangalawa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, basta sa mga panahong iyon kumapit nalang ako sa paniniwalang magaling at mahusay ako. Tiwala lang sa sarili ang pinaka-kailangan ko.

Makalipas ang ilang araw, heto na naman ako. Muling nahaharap sa parehong sitwasyon ngunit magkaiba lang ang pagpipilian. Ang sabi ko noon, "Sa panahong kailangan kong pumili, kailangan ko lang isipin kung alin yung mas makapagpapasaya sa akin kaysa doon sa pinaka best." Ngunit mukhang hindi talaga sa lahat ng bagay maisasabuhay mo ay iyong mga paniniwala. Sa sitwasyong ito'y pareho silang makapagpapasaya sa akin, sa magkaibang aspeto nga lang. Oh kay hirap pumili: passion without any costs or work with fulfillment?


May kalabuan kung titignan. Maganda siguro kung dadaanin natin sa lenggwaheng karamihan sa atin ay nasa edad na para maintindihan... Ganito yun!

Parang pag-ibig lang, alin mas pipiliin mo sa dalawa?! Yung tao na lubos mong mahal at matagal mo na ring pinapangarap pero sa kabila ng lahat hindi ka naman magawang suklian kahit kakarampot na pagmamahal. O kaya naman, sa isang tao na minamahal at pinapahalagahan ka, at sa tingin mo'y hindi naman malayong mahalin mo rin.

Sagot ng isang kaibigan, "Ang hirap naman. Pero sa tingin ko, dun parin ako sa una. Hindi naman kasi  kailangang suklian ang pagmamahal . Siguro magiging masaya nalang din ako kapag nakita ko siyang masaya kahit sa  piling ng iba. Baduy pero sa tingin ko iyon ang ibig sabihin ng tunay na pagmamahal."


May punto siya...


Opinyon naman ng isa pang kaibigan, "Hindi mo masasabing pagmamahal ang isang bagay kung may isang taong nasasaktan. Kaya nga siguro may mga taong pilit na kinukumbinsi ang sarili na okay lang ang lahat kahit hindi naman. Sa tingin ko, ang tunay na pag-ibig ay ipinaglalaban sapagkat hindi ito isang bagay lamang na kapag hindi mo na kayang hawakan ay basta mo nalang bibitawan."


May punto rin naman siya...

Ako? Ano namang masasabi ko patungkol dito?! Siguro gaya nalang ng paulit ulit kong sinasabi, "Ang pag-ibig kailangan magsimula sa sarili. At sa pagtatapos ng araw walang ibang makapagsasabi kung sino ang nararapat para saiyo, walang iba kundi ang sarili mo. Hindi ang nanay mo, ang tatay, kuya, ate, tito, tita o kung sino mang poncio pilato. Ikaw ang mas nakakakilala sa sarili mo higit kanino man, IKAW dapat ang may alam sa kung saan o kanino ka tunay na magiging maligaya."


Hanggang sa ngayon wala pa akong pinal na desisyon. Hindi ko pa mahanap ang aking sarili upang magdesisyon para sa aking sarili. Kahit alin man siguro ang piliin ko sa dalawa, naniniwala parin naman ako na lahat ng bagay ay nagtatapos ng maayos. Mukhang masyado na naman akong sinisipagan magpahayag ng aking mga saloobin. Bago pa mapunta ito sa kawalang kwentahan, maiging tapusin ko na dito. Makakapili rin ako!

Ngayon, Ang Hangin ay Amihan

Let it rule me

I am not a firm believer of God. I actually have hundred times told myself that there is no such thing as God. But just in case, there is, I will “LET GO, LET GOD” rule this life that I have.

Yet to come

Life has not been so friendly to me lately (lately?) no it's been 79 days and counting already. As I have said previously, through my status in different social networking sites or maybe somewhere along this blog: "I am not yet ready to summon myself to the world of greediness" ----  "I am not ready to face reality, yet",  and "I am not ready to surrender, yet"

The Choices Before You

________________________________________________________________________
President Fr. Jun Viray

CHED Region V representative Dr. Manuel C. Mendoza

Academic Vice- President, Dr. Rebecca C. Torres,

The daughters of charity, Bulawan na Bikolnon Service to Bicol Awardee

Academic Deans, members of the faculty, dear parents graduates, and fellow- alumni

It is more than a pleasure to be with you here today. It is a distinct honor that I never imagined would ever come to pass. Fr. Viray`s letter came as a complete surprise.

You bestow on me this afternoon, an honor that is reserved for those who have achieved more than what is expected. I firmly believe that what I have done in life as a media practitioner is that I did what I enjoyed the most. Usually, you don`t deserve an honoris causa for doing what is fun! Besides, I thought a Ph.D to be beyond reach. My Mother, sister and brother are titled PhD`s and I always felt left out of the count... But today gives me bragging rights and I thank you for the distinct honor.

I did what I believed in, what I was passionate about, and perhaps, what others would have considered foolish because I was like that stubborn little train in the children`s book "The Little Train That Could" who kept telling himself, “I think I can" when the going got rough.

Like Kermit my favorite frog says, “it`s not always easy being green.” Neither is it easy to be passionate, to remain steadfast and unswayed by the crowd all the time.

But to digress a bit, allow me to share with you a few stories about the quarter century career path I chose. We started our independent company right after martial law when investigative reporting was not popular nor looked upon with favor.

Quite understandably, this genre of programs was not in the agenda of stations because there had been a 20 year history of media censorship and control. There were many stories about abuse, corruption, moral decay, and fundamental change that had happened in those 20 years that needed to be told.

We had difficulties getting airtime, we were called " boring, not yet quite our time, unmarketable, and not the most pleasant kind of show to view." By the looks of it, we were not meant to last very long.

Amidst all the "big trains" of the major stations rushing around us, we chugged along. We set up our first office in our house. My eight- year old son`s bedroom became our editing room.

In one honest- to- goodness conversation with my husband, I asked him if we could afford to pull our savings together for this " dream" and he did. We bought our first set of equipment, we had a hard-working team of four, did our story on the Marcos gold, spending days and longer nights at Intramuros going underground, in search of our story- without knowing for sure if we were ever going to see it air on TV.

That uncertainty went on for months until we covered the Dona Paz tragedy close to Christmas in 1987 when over four thousand people died at sea. It was a time when the news covered stories from the point of view of what happened.

We wanted to tell the story about how and why things happen.

Looking back, we were dogged in our determination and realize that passion propels. It can be done.

That small team of four people continue to forge ahead today. Maria Ressa went on to be CNN correspondent of the region and has now started a new media company called Rappler. Luchi Cruz-Valdes heads News and Public Affairs of TV-5, and Angie Cruz is now with the TV news service Reuters in Europe.

But forging ahead coupled with the unwavering, uncompromising and steadfast support of my secret weapon—my husband of 43 years, provided the anchor upon which I leaned on from day one, and throughout the 25 years we ourselves never imagined we were going to be on the air. So far, by our count, The Probe Team has been the longest running investigative newsmagazine on record on Philippine TV.


CHOICES

I recently bought a game board called “Life.” As I was putting it together and reading the game rules, I thought about your graduation day from College and the relevance of a board game to you as graduates of the Ateneo de Naga University.

What is the connection between a deck of cards, plastic car tokens, the roll of the dice and you? Can your life—marked by this day when it opens up to a bright future equate to a game?

I would like to take the time to draw your attention to the word, “choices.” At every point in our life, we are given the chance to make a choice. But not everyone is given a choice. In fact, it is reserved for the few blessed with an education. And those blessed with a good education have better choices. Every choice we make in turn, is determined by events, experiences, value systems and traditions that have shaped who we are up to this point.

In the game board of Life, players are given options, choices to make at every stop that the roll of the dice gives each player. Each player has a car as his token and moves along the path of life as he is asked to make choices. Every choice has a consequence. In fact, one of the options after elementary and high school is to go on to College or take on a job that pays you well. When you make the choice to go to school, you incur debts- much the same way your parents saved, borrowed and invested in your Ateneo education. Once you finish school, there are debts to pay and you start afresh in a new chapter in your young lives.

Graduation marks the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. It gives us the opportunity to take stock of how far we have traveled in life. We can go back and review what we learned from the course we chose, identify what opportunities we missed out on, and be happy about the confidence you now have to move forward. It is a crossroad, in the real game of life, and you are now faced with yet another set of choices to make. What job to take. A job with the highest pay offer, or a job you want regardless of pay. The ideal of course is to take on a job you want and get paid for it. Like they say, if you enjoy what you are doing, you will never have to work a day in your life.

But just as it is in real life, there are trade-off`s in everything we do. Chances are, the job you enjoy will not pay very much. The job that pays you the highest, will only be good for its pay.

Every step of the game offers a challenge and it is up to us to respond to that challenge. It gets more complicated. The more the choices, the greater the need to be sure about what we believe in, to be passionate about those beliefs and to hold fast to those beliefs.


SOCIAL MEDIA

In a very short span of recent history, media has changed so dramatically from where we were just a few years ago that if you were sleeping all this time, you would not recognize what has happened in the meantime.

More than ever before, today`s media is about choices. And the smorgasbord is full!

It comes by a new name.
Social media. Considered by those who study it as the biggest shift since the industrial revolution.

Is it a fad as some say it is?

For us who were raised in traditional media (or sometimes called old media now,) it is a challenge to reinvent ourselves, to adopt, to transform. We are told that we are now moving from the age of authority to the age of authenticity.

What does the new media picture look like?

Just the other day, I was sitting in a subway in Singapore and in came a young girl, hair all dyed blond. She walked in---earplugs in place, her MP3 connected to her iPhone hanging by her neck, and furiously texting with both fingers, unmindful of the moving train, and then walking right out the subway car three stops later without looking up a single second to see where she was.

I thought to myself, is she the “new” media archetype?

Wired and connected? Or trivialized and shut out?

Consider the world you are in:

-50% of the world`s population is under 30 years old.
-96% of generation “Y” (those born in the `80`s) have joined some network.
-Social media has overtaken pornography as the no. 1 activity on the web.

-FB tops Google for weekly traffic in the US.
-FB added over 20M users in less than a year.
-If Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest in the world, behind China and India.
-There are 60M status updates on FB everyday.
We no longer search for news, it finds us. We no longer search for products and services, they will find us through social media.

-1 out of 8 couples who married in the US met via social media.
-It takes years to reach 50 m users- but social media has done it in less time than traditional media has been able to reach.
-Radio-takes 38 years/ TV-13 years/internet-4/ ipod-3 years
-Twitter has 85 million users.

-Ashton Kucher and Britney Spears have more followers than Sweden, Israel, Switzerland, Ireland, Norway and Panama have citizens.

-Wikipedia has 2.8b pages of info on average. If there is an error, the crowd will correct it.
The mantra is, “publish now, and correct later.”

The way we communicate has changed the way we perceive events and has given us a direct voice in participating in those events.

As you sit there wondering what I am talking about, you can like, tweet a pic, blog, friend or unfriend anyone at will, comment, mount an information campaign, start your own webpage, sell products, inform your 20,000 followers about the food you ate today, find a long-lost HS classmate on FB, upload and instantaneously share it with the rest of the world---numberless, faceless millions—all “potential” friends.

Crowd sourcing is a new "buzzword." It means making a lot of people take a small action—something they cannot achieve on their own but together produce a ripple effect, often resulting in waves--maybe even causing a tsunami.

There are examples from recent experiences in the use of social media.

President Obama of the U.S .acknowledges that he won the U.S. Presidential elections largely from his use of social media with people using it to make small contributions to his campaign. Many international events specially in heavily- media controlled countries, were impacted by social media as the alternative channel of getting the news out- quickly and unfiltered but not without risk.

When the Iranian government closed down all their TV cameras, the revolution there was started via Twitter. Like us in 1986, it was people power that went around by word of mouth, today just 26 years later, by world of mouth on digital steroids!

What does this mean?

New media has taken the discipline of professional journalism and combined it with the speed and emotion of bloggers. What was difficult to access before is now easily available. The “old” tools we used, teletype, heavy cameras, bulky tape recorders—are now reduced to palm-sized, telephone cameras whose video images can be instantly uploaded on the net in real time, for the audiences you want to reach.
The traditional gate-keepers have lost their function. We don`t have editors checking facts, double-checking the correct spelling of a name or a place. We publish now and correct later.

Instant gratification is the name of the game. We live in a NOW generation where information must be instant or be lost. Bloggers are faster than news that has to be distilled through filters and editors. We don`t go to the news, the news “comes” to us. With over 300M bloggers worldwide, 34% of who post opinions about products and brands, word of mouth has become “world of mouth.”

New media has also opened up limitless possibilities for the entrepreneur in you. Owning your dream store is now your e-palengke right in the privacy of your home with the possibility of expanding it into a mega- store by sourcing your goods at your fingertips that travel the world. They call it the phenomenon of the "long tail" where there is no longer pressure to have high sales per square foot of store space because you sell to the Internet and you do not have to have physical inventory at the point of sales.

Studies show that 78% of consumers trust peer recommendation as opposed to only 14% who trust ads. We build on information by gathering what is called the “wisdom of the crowds.” Despite the wisdom of the crowds however, not all are fully participative. It is estimated that at least 80% of social media are bystanders.

But the explosion of access, the number of unlimited choices has a cost. Fr. Adolfo Nicolas, the Superior General of the Society of Jesus last year expressed the fear that what is happening is the “globalization of superficiality.” And, as others have articulated, the “loss or privacy.”

In Abraham Maslow`s "Hierarchy of Needs Study," he identified the greatest need of man after survival and security, as the need to feel accepted. In many quarters, myself included, there is thought about losing your privacy, losing depth and trivializing everything by chronicling on Twitter or Facebook, your every whim, thought, observation, real or imagined and opening up your every move to anyone who has access to your account.

At the same time, the need for “Acceptance” is a strong motivating factor that propels us to behave in certain ways to achieve acceptance. It is at this fork in our game of life, when we are faced with the “choices” we have to make.

Acceptance for what reason and at what cost? Does it come close to who we are, our passions and our beliefs?

As we look back at this chapter in our life and look ahead to the gates just opening before us, a few reminders about our stake in this game of life.

More than any other time in your life, you have choices before you. The media milieu you now live in has never been as wide open nor given us all an opportunity to make a difference.

Seize that opportunity to make a difference. Make your choice in favor of the less fortunate, the ones with less choices in life. The ones you see on your way in and out of this University on a daily basis.

Hold on to your passion. Hold fast to the principles you believe in. Let us not lose sight of the fact that new media is only a tool. It is not an end. Don`t be impressed by the new toy. It is still you who determines what is right. It is you who determines the rules of the game.

Use it for good. Go beyond your own self-interests and expand your horizons to live your Jesuit education. Be a man for others. And if I may make an unabashed plug- put your good fortune to use for the benefit of the Filipino. For this country.

If there is a single lesson that my own life has taught me, it is pride in being Filipino. I have had occasion to see it proven time and again, that while there is much to improve there is also so much more to be proud of.

To all of you, congratulations.

May the winds be always at your back and may your choices be always as clear as your consciences!

Me, my beloved Ateneo and You

Like any other student that came from an uncivilized barrio and then suddenly went across rivers to study civilization...

The first day of my college life (ORSEM 2008), coming from an unknown and open-space public school, I was kinda afraid and nervous not because i'm scared of getting lost from the tall buildings that surrounds the campus, but because of the unfamiliar and strange faces that might belittle me. I feel so small and unnoticeable that very moment. I am so quite the whole time until I realized I went to a wrong group of students. It was the group of Education majors where I join, but I don't mind. As minutes, hours, days and years passed I finally found the right place in the university where i should belong (Media Studies Dept.).