Showing posts with label hay buhay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hay buhay. Show all posts

Dios Mabalos Sir Jesse!

Unknown Thursday, August 23, 2012

Sa paglisan ng isang huwarang pinuno, ang dating masayang lungsod ng Naga ay napalitan ng lungkot at pangungulila. Wala namang nag-akala na mangyayari ito lalo pa't sakanya, pero sadyang ganyan talaga ang buhay parang isang bula na bigla nalang puputok at mawawala. Gusto ko lang ibahagi itong isang artikulo na isinulat ni JHOANNA PAOLA BALLARAN sa Rappler. Hindi ko alam, basta naluluha ako na may kaunting saya habang binabasa ko ito. Sana mabasa nyo rin at sa huling pagkakataon ay makapagbigay-pugay tayo sa isang tao na nagpatunay na posible parin ang tuwid at malinis na pamumuno sa naghihikahos na bansa.

Hindi na ako magsusulat pa ng mahahabang sanaysay katulad ng iba sapagkat halos iisa rin lang naman ang nais kong iparating, eto nalang...


My mayor, Jesse Robredo

By: Jhoanna Paola Ballaran

More than 3 years ago, my cousin from Naga sometimes surprised us at home after driving for his boss, who had a lot of meetings and errands here in Manila. He never ran out of good stories to tell about his superior who had always been a well-loved public servant in the heart of Bicol region.

My cousin Toks worked for the then-Mayor of Naga City, Jesse Robredo. He worked for him as a driver for many years and I never heard any negative stories about his boss. Kuya Toks will tell us how Mayor Jess lived a simple life while leading his people.

Kuya Toks once told me how Mayor Jess encouraged one of his staff to patch up marital and family problem. He told me how Mayor would travel from Naga to Manila just to talk to a group of less than 10 student leaders and inspire them to serve the people the best way they can. He told me how Mayor prohibits any level of corruption by discharging any staff or official proven of wrongdoing.

Through these and other stories, I got to know Mayor Jess: a rare kind of man who has genuinely good intentions for his people.

The pride of Bicolanos

Both my parents are from Naga City and they witnessed how crime, corruption, and dirty politics flourished in the city back in the 60s until the 80s. Illegal drugs and syndicates were huge problems, while political clans were slinging mud from left to right. Naga was behind Legazpi City, the center of Bicol province back then.

But my parents told me how the young Mayor Jess transformed Naga into one of the best cities in the Philippines: all streets, even the smallest eskinitas,were turned into concrete pavements; illegal settlers were given houses to give families a decent place to live in; each contractor was given a project to avoid conflict; illegal drug operators were tracked down, and so many other things that could not be counted with my two hands.

I became proud of Naga City, where I trace my family’s roots. I became proud of the city I used to come home to during the summer – a city where the people love their government because of transparency and integrity. I wasn’t raised in my parent’s hometown but my love for Naga and Bicol grew as I saw Mayor Jess’ outstanding leadership and love for his city and his people.

A rare leader

I’ve always been curious about how Mayor Jess ran Naga City. How did he manage to live a simple and dignified life despite strong temptations in government? Why didn’t he use his power for personal gain after 18 long years? How was he able to stay grounded?

I wanted to know more about my parents’ stories on how he rode on a garbage truck to get to the typhoon-devastated areas then shoveled mud together with the people.

I wanted to tell him how proud I am of Naga City because of him, how I admire him for taking the extra mile to serve his people and for not taking advantage of the power they had given him.

I know I will never get a chance to tell and ask him these things, but I would like to applaud him for everything he has done for our beloved Nueva Caceresand the corruption-stained government he tried to fix.

We might mourn your death but we celebrate your life. Thank you very much, Mayor Jesse Robredo, on behalf of my family in Naga City which you have truly inspired.

Dae ka malilingawan can mga tawong pigsirbihan mo. Dios mabalos!

(You will not be forgotten by the people you served. Thank you.) - Rappler.com 


Noong una, hindi naman talaga ako ganoon kaapektado sa kanyang pagpanaw. Bukod sa tanggap ko na ang life and death situation, eh, wala naman kaming ugnayan sa isa't isa at ni minsan hindi ko tinangkang tanungin kung sino ba sya para sa iba. Ngunit, habang sinusubaybayan ko ang mga balita tungkol sakanya, doon ko unti-unting naramdaman ang lungkot at nalaman na hindi lang siya basta naging mayor ng Naga. Malaki ang nagawa nya para sa bayan, at hindi na ko magtatanong kung bakit at ano basta SALAMAT Sir Jesse!

                                                                        Video Credits:  Roje Semblante

PROUD AKONG MAGING NAGUENO DAHIL SAIMO SIR JESSE!

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Probe TV Journal

Unknown Monday, July 16, 2012
it's been quite sometime already since i last visited my blog and make an update.
i was too preoccupied by the challenges and changes happening in my life today,
i could not even afford to look at myself for five minutes in front of the mirror,
or even scrub my whole body and then stay for an hour inside the bathroom.

the things and rituals i used to do before are slowly getting out of my daily routine
i sometimes hate myself for looking this way & for being born not so good looking

well insecurities really sucks! 

anyway since writing takes so much time, and i am too lazy to make another post just for this blog, starting from now i would be posting all my journal entries that we are doing every week as apprentice here at Probe.

PS.
Kindly like our Facebook page @ http://www.facebook.com/UnlimitedProductionsInc
Also follow as on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/probetv

Thank You! :)
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Pili Not

Unknown Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Araw ngayon ng kalayaan ng Pilipinas... Mabuhay ang mga Pilipino... Pero wala akong maisip i-blog patungkol dito... Hayaan nyo nalang akong magbuhos ng ilang bagay na gumugulo sa aking mumunting isip.

***
Minsan sa buhay, hindi natin maiiwasang maharap sa isang sitwasyon kung saan kailangan tayong pumili. Mahirap lalo na kung ito ay sa pagitan ng dalawang bagay na sa tingin natin ay parehong may mabuting maidudulot. Pero gaya ng mga exam sa eskwela, bago matapos ang inilaan na oras ay kailangan nating magdesisyon kung nais talaga natin makakuha ng mataas na marka.

Kamakailan lang, naharap ako sa parehong sitwasyon. Isang desisyon na magdidikta sa aking kinabukasan...

Siguro para sa ibang tao madali lamang itong pagdesisyunan. Pero para sa akin, isa ito sa mga bagay na lubos akong nahirapan. Alin ba ang mas makakabuti para sa akin: ang mag-aral muli sa pag-asang balang araw ay may naghihintay na mas magandang opurtunidad, o ang simulan na ang paghahanap sa swerte at unti-unting ipundar ang mga pangarap? Mahirap sapagkat lubos akong napamahal at pinapahalagahan ko ang pag-aaral. Mahirap sapagkat masyado pa akong bata para magtrabaho pero kinakailangan.

Salamat sa payo at yakap mula sa isang espesyal na kaibigan. Ang sabi nya sa akin, "Aw. Huuugs. Siguro ganito nalang, kung 50:50 ngayon ikaw. Kapag nakapili kana kung ano talaga. Do your best to make that 50% a 100%. Para no regrets in the end."


Sa tulong niya'y nakapagdesisyon akong piliin ang pangalawa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, basta sa mga panahong iyon kumapit nalang ako sa paniniwalang magaling at mahusay ako. Tiwala lang sa sarili ang pinaka-kailangan ko.

Makalipas ang ilang araw, heto na naman ako. Muling nahaharap sa parehong sitwasyon ngunit magkaiba lang ang pagpipilian. Ang sabi ko noon, "Sa panahong kailangan kong pumili, kailangan ko lang isipin kung alin yung mas makapagpapasaya sa akin kaysa doon sa pinaka best." Ngunit mukhang hindi talaga sa lahat ng bagay maisasabuhay mo ay iyong mga paniniwala. Sa sitwasyong ito'y pareho silang makapagpapasaya sa akin, sa magkaibang aspeto nga lang. Oh kay hirap pumili: passion without any costs or work with fulfillment?


May kalabuan kung titignan. Maganda siguro kung dadaanin natin sa lenggwaheng karamihan sa atin ay nasa edad na para maintindihan... Ganito yun!

Parang pag-ibig lang, alin mas pipiliin mo sa dalawa?! Yung tao na lubos mong mahal at matagal mo na ring pinapangarap pero sa kabila ng lahat hindi ka naman magawang suklian kahit kakarampot na pagmamahal. O kaya naman, sa isang tao na minamahal at pinapahalagahan ka, at sa tingin mo'y hindi naman malayong mahalin mo rin.

Sagot ng isang kaibigan, "Ang hirap naman. Pero sa tingin ko, dun parin ako sa una. Hindi naman kasi  kailangang suklian ang pagmamahal . Siguro magiging masaya nalang din ako kapag nakita ko siyang masaya kahit sa  piling ng iba. Baduy pero sa tingin ko iyon ang ibig sabihin ng tunay na pagmamahal."


May punto siya...


Opinyon naman ng isa pang kaibigan, "Hindi mo masasabing pagmamahal ang isang bagay kung may isang taong nasasaktan. Kaya nga siguro may mga taong pilit na kinukumbinsi ang sarili na okay lang ang lahat kahit hindi naman. Sa tingin ko, ang tunay na pag-ibig ay ipinaglalaban sapagkat hindi ito isang bagay lamang na kapag hindi mo na kayang hawakan ay basta mo nalang bibitawan."


May punto rin naman siya...

Ako? Ano namang masasabi ko patungkol dito?! Siguro gaya nalang ng paulit ulit kong sinasabi, "Ang pag-ibig kailangan magsimula sa sarili. At sa pagtatapos ng araw walang ibang makapagsasabi kung sino ang nararapat para saiyo, walang iba kundi ang sarili mo. Hindi ang nanay mo, ang tatay, kuya, ate, tito, tita o kung sino mang poncio pilato. Ikaw ang mas nakakakilala sa sarili mo higit kanino man, IKAW dapat ang may alam sa kung saan o kanino ka tunay na magiging maligaya."


Hanggang sa ngayon wala pa akong pinal na desisyon. Hindi ko pa mahanap ang aking sarili upang magdesisyon para sa aking sarili. Kahit alin man siguro ang piliin ko sa dalawa, naniniwala parin naman ako na lahat ng bagay ay nagtatapos ng maayos. Mukhang masyado na naman akong sinisipagan magpahayag ng aking mga saloobin. Bago pa mapunta ito sa kawalang kwentahan, maiging tapusin ko na dito. Makakapili rin ako!
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Yet to come

Unknown Monday, June 11, 2012
Life has not been so friendly to me lately (lately?) no it's been 79 days and counting already. As I have said previously, through my status in different social networking sites or maybe somewhere along this blog: "I am not yet ready to summon myself to the world of greediness" ----  "I am not ready to face reality, yet",  and "I am not ready to surrender, yet"

Yet I am forced to do so. I know that I would be able to make it with a little dash of determination, an ounce of motivation, and support from my friends both offline and online.

Always wish me good luck! WOHOOOOOO HERE I COME!

A bit of inspiration to push myself. :)

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Me, my beloved Ateneo and You

Unknown Saturday, June 02, 2012
June na pala, aside sa malapit na naman ang aking kaarawan,  mas nalalapit na ang pasukan. So let me do this post that should be published months ago kaya lang di ko matapos tapos. Try ko nalang i-relate... Anyway, have you ever wondered why I choose Ateneo among other Universities here in Bicol or in the country?! Ganito lang naman yun... Kung pano ako nagsimula at nagtapos sa aking belabed na unibers.
_________________________________________________________________________________

It was never on my plan and never in my dreams to enroll in Ateneo. I was a high school student before who wants to become a nurse somewhere in the future (it's trending that time and it's the dream of my parents and relatives for me), so I decided to go for Sta. Isabel were the nuns are the rulers, given the thought that they produce the best nurses on earth and students will surely have a God driven life. Nevertheless, since I was a kid I always see myself wearing a white uniform at work (nurse, doctor, seaman, chef or a priest). But how come I end up in my beloved Ateneo?! And worst I did not pursue of becoming a nurse!

Simple! I realized I cannot afford to take the responsibilities given to a nurse. I might be one of the reasons why  death rate will increase in the near future. So as quick as the blink of an eye, I took the Ateneo's entrance exam in our school instead of the USI's qualifying exam. Luckily, the result was above average. Thanks to my seatmate, but unfortunately he can't come with me, his family can't afford the tuition fee or even the miscellaneous fee.

That's it, my mom accompanied me during the first day of enrollment without any course to choose in mind. In my admission form, I just put Nursing as my first choice, Education for the second and Development Communication as my last choice  (these were the only courses familiar to me) . However, during the interview segment, I suddenly changed my thoughts and picked AB-Communication as my final course. WTF t'was quick! But my mom had shown no violent reaction about it. I didn't even have any idea regarding the degree but i know it's about communicating to other people which is more likely to be a course where we will talk a lot.

Tadaaa!!! Officially enrolled in this very prestigious university in Bicol

Ateneo de Naga University
Nico John L. Dino
AB-Communication 
2008-1-0183

Like any other student that came from an uncivilized barrio and then suddenly went across rivers to study civilization...

The first day of my college life (ORSEM 2008), coming from an unknown and open-space public school, I was kinda afraid and nervous not because i'm scared of getting lost from the tall buildings that surrounds the campus, but because of the unfamiliar and strange faces that might belittle me. I feel so small and unnoticeable that very moment. I am so quite the whole time until I realized I went to a wrong group of students. It was the group of Education majors where I join, but I don't mind. As minutes, hours, days and years passed I finally found the right place in the university where i should belong (Media Studies Dept.).

That was a totally new environment for me and I really had a difficult start in coping up and adapting to people and norms inside the university. There was even a point where I already want to quit and leave the place because of the pressures it gives to me. Nevertheless, the journey and adventure that I had experienced in Ateneo was the most memorable scenario in my eighteen years of living. The four years, I feel like riding on a ferris wheel, there were a lot of turning ups and downs and sometimes I am stuck in the middle, those experiences made me stronger and even wiser, and of course to be men with and for others. I never regret at all, rather I am very very very thankful a hundred times that I came here in this university not just to study and learn but to experience the true essence of life and finding my own self.

Ateneo, its Jesuit education, has too many to offer to their students who are willing and persistent to learn. They not only give the right knowledge but also hone you as an individual. Will show you how to live a truthful and fruitful life. And will help you find you own self for you to be men and women for/with others. Sad for me because I was already in my mid year when I came to know and realized those things. However, that didn't stop me from still enjoying and fulfilling those things that I can still accomplish until my last year of stay. I did everything to expend all the amenities and opportunities granted to us. I can say that Ateneo and being a true-blooded Atenista is one of the best choice a man could make.

Hence, in every journey... it has to end at a certain point... a point where you are forced to stop for a while and decide which path to take, and all you can do is to thank back the people who will be left behind.

Finally, YES with a deep sigh! HOORAY with a doubt! and HALLELUJAH with full of hopes! I am a Graduate of Bachelor of Arts in Communication...

See how happy I am as I went across the
four pillars and  received my fake diploma
photo credits: Marie Trinidad
And to quote Ate Abby: "Probably if not everybody, at least most who graduated last night was as happy as I am, but I still want to believe that my happiness is special on its own way. Though it also scares me because graduating in college means starting a new beginning and new beginning is hard, I still cannot deny the happiness that surface on my heart. I never thought that I was able to make it possible, finishing it on my own."

Indeed, the graduation rites was very one of a kind and very memorable, and all at the same time giving a burst of peculiar happiness. It was raining and we were soaked wet with our togas and caps. We were like kids playing under the cold and slight heavy rain. The happiness I was feeling was kinda strange because even though I cannot describe what it feels like. It may not be genuine happiness, maybe a feeling of happiness that is filled with different emotions all at once. However, the most important thing to me was I know I am happy because I see my classmates, mentors, relatives and of course my parents indeed happy for me.

After sleepless nights of studying just to pass all the Math subjects, after memorizing lessons in our Theology subjects, after chasing the deadlines just to finish the school requirements, after several weeks of homesickness because I had to settle important matters, and times that I had to cry forcefully because I made a huge mistake. After all these worthy shits, I can proudly say that I did it with a big smile, I made it even without flying colors. Though I didn't get the Distinction in Communication and Cum Laude award that I wished to have, I’m still very glad that I passed all the subjects without retaking or getting an F or an AF marks despite being so stubborn. I am also proud to say that I know I had contributed even a piece of kindness in the university and in return the university made my every year stay in Ateneo worth remembering...

Need to ride on a boat to reach the community, and that
T-shirt I am wearing there still perfectly fits on me now! :)
Freshmen: Despite from being culture shocked, I did my very best to adjust and get along with the people. I studied harder to prove to myself that I am worthy to be called Atenean. Yeah! I am very serious at this time. And what made me very happy was, for the first time I got a grade of 90 in my Basic Algebra subject and I think I was the one who got the highest (also the highest in my history of Math). I did not expect it at all because I am too slow like a snail when it comes to problem solving. Maybe it's because I always carry the bag of our professor. Anyway, joining outreach activities was also my first time here.


Remember the time when we all wanted to become
a professional photographer and own a DSLR.
Sophomore: By this time, I am still finding my own reason why I should pursue my course. Several times I asked and visualized myself to what future was waiting for me. I couldn't even find my passion and interests here. However, photography class came and gave the reason why I should stay. I was deeply in love with photographs and cameras. On the other hand, I also started to build strong bonds with my peers and decided to join an organization (College Guidance Center) which serves as my home and comfort zone inside the campus. Definitely, photographs and the place which we call "Lungga" enlightened and gave me a fresh start.

During the shoot of the epic episode of "Bonsai"
Missing the Feeling Nuts Production and overnights
Junior: I can consider this as the best year in my entire college life. I think this has been a roller coaster ride for me, from being happy and sad  to being down graded by others and getting up to give a good fight. Slowly all my dreams came into reality. From theater arts presentation, community communication, volunteer activities, making our own self-produced videos, our internship experience to mention, and so on and so forth that unleashed our potentials as Communication majors. This was also the time where the make or break friendships happened. Definitely this was a total fun and a lot crazy experience.

Last day sa belabed unibers...
Senior: This is also one of the most memorable year because I had to endure and overcome all the obstacles that hinder my growth and success. Thanks to all the people who helped me and stick with me all the time. I cannot mention all of you pals but you all know who you are. Thank you very much because in my last year of stay here in the university I found many people that are all worthy to be treasured. Anyway, I would like also to express my deepest gratitude for accomplishing our Thesis. That was one hell of a masterpiece in one way or another.

I cannot put everything into one post, but I guess what I have written above were somehow enough  to ease and express the uncertainty I'm feeling right now (including grammar loss). And to quote a friend again "This journey will not be complete without the people who were part of this ride. I still have that graduation hang over but I think I have to thank the long list of people who were part of my ride to finish line. The people whom I laugh with, I cried with and the people who whole heartedly understand and supported my endeavor."

SALAMAT NG BUONG PUSO

CC11 Pungits Family
Faculty of Media Studies
Professors in all my minor subjects
Friends from MS Dept.
Friends from Ateneo
Lungga (G-kids)
Guidance Counselors
Ate Bitat
Ate Madel
Papa
Mama
Sa inyong lahat na nagmamahal sa akin...

I dedicate my happiness & success to all of you!


Who's that monkey bear?!
ANG SAYA MAGING COLLEGE - HINDI AKO MAGSASAWA
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I'm now ready leave and for the last time turn my back to bid goodbye to my college life. Thanks for the memories. I'm gonna miss those times I was a college student of Ateneo. *crying hard nowwwww!

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tar-ba-ho

Unknown Thursday, May 03, 2012

Ika-dalawa na pala ng Mayo, tamad parin ako! Ano bang bago dito?! Hindi na ako nasanay sa sarili ko. Sa tinagal tagal ng panahon, hasang hasa na ang galing ko sa pagiging tamad at batugan. Kaya nga minsan naniniwala na ako sa paulit-ulit na sermon saakin ng aking tiyahin; "Ay ewan sayo, sinong niloko mo? Sa tamad mong yan alam ko ngayon palang na hindi kana aasenso." Shutang ina kung di ka lang living thing matagal na kitang pinaanod sa Bicol river.

*Hmmmmn sabagay ultimo pagsulat dito sa blog ko ay tinatamad ako. Ang pangako kong jogging sa sarili ko hanggang ngayon drawing abot isang kilometro. Pati pag-upload ng mga litrato sa Facebook, iniisip ko palang nabuburyong na agad ako. Yung matagal ng hinihintay na video na pina-edit sakin hanggang ngayon raw video parin. At ang pinakamalalang kinatatamaran ko, ANG PAGHAHANAP NG TRABAHO.

Aaminin ko, takot talaga akong ma-reject. Ewan basta ang sama sa pakiramdam, masakit pa kapag ang puso ko ang nasaktan dahil sa pag-ibig. Anyway, di naman sa di talaga ako naghahanap ng mapgtatrabahuhan, nagsubmit narin ako ng tigtatatlong copy ng resume sa ilang kumpanya dito sa Bicol, sa Manels pati rin International Organization kinapalan ko na. Yun nga lang, ni isa wala pang nagpaparamdam. Kita mo na, kahit nandito lang ako sa bahay may nagagawa rin naman ako. Pero hindi tulad ng effort a ibinubuhos ng mga kaibigan ko na ngayon ay sinusubukang hanapin ang swerte sa ka-Maynilaan, ang effort ko kakatiting lang. Ano ba naman kasing magagawa ko, eh dalawang taon akong naka-ban dito sa probinsyang sinilangan. Liban sa pagiging tamad ko at batugan, pagdating sa paghanap ng pinapangarap kong trabaho ay masyadong mapili at maarte ako.

Saan ba ako pupulutin ng disposisyon kong ito. *Linsyak gusto kong magtino pero ang hirap hirap. Sa araw-araw na gumigising ako, unti-unti rin akong kinakain ng hiya sa sarili at sa magulang ko. Pakiramdam ko kasi masyado pa akong bata para pasanin ang isang responsibilidad na agad-agad naipatong sa akin. Bakit ba kasi hindi nalang ako nabuhay kung saan ang pamilya ko ay may sariling kumpanya na multi-milyon ang halaga. Syempre ilusyon ko lamang iyon, masaya naman ako sa kung anong meron ako ngayon kaya nga lang ang panahon hindi nakikisama. Isang buwan nalang, hayaan nyo akong magbulakbol at gawin ang lahat kong naisin. Pagkatapos nito, hindi na ako mangagako, hahanapin at hahabulin ko na ang aking swerte. Maging ano man ang aking kahinatnan, tatanggapin ko ito ng buong-buong at sisiguraduhing aangat ako balang araw: magiging isang sikat at hahangaan ako ng maraming tao, higit sa lahat ipagmamalaki ako ng mama at papa ko. 

Kaya ngayon, walang sawa muna akong magtatampisaw at maliligo sa ulan hangga't maari. Salamat dumating na ang buwan ng Mayo nabawas-bawasan ang init ng aking ulo. At sa darating na Hunyo, alam kong suswertihin ako, dahil Birthday ko, magwiwish akong makahanap na ako ng TRABAHO!

Share ko lang kasi mukhang walang kwenta na ang pinagsusulat ko sa taas. Para naman ma-inspire ko kayo pati na rin ang sarili ko. Pampalubag pala ng loob, nabasa ko lang sa blog ng isang makulit na kaibigan ko. Wish me luck yow! :)

DON'T QUIT
Unknown Author 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
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#SNS Trending

Unknown Friday, April 13, 2012
Referring to my recent post below, Yes, I now become a Twitter addict and also a frequent Instagram user since I deactivated my Facebook account because of that *packing tape* time line interface. Hell yeah, from more than 400 tweets since the first time I tweeted, now i already have 1,303 tweets as of 12:52am April 13, 2012. In just a matter of three days I think I doubled my tweets three times. I am also new to Instagram yet i already have about ten post and hundred liked photos in just a week.You might think it's not that severe but on my part I think it is. My life for the past few days significantly depends on my social networking sites.

I fully understand that these sites are really entertaining and will ease the boring segments of your day. This may be subjected to individuals who mostly stays at home and got nothing to do because it's vacation. And since tumbang preso, tagu-taguan, piko, pitik bulag and etc. are extinct/alien games already, most of us resorted to the what the internet has to offer. However, in my case I live up my day in this freakin' effin useless virtual world, the only things that were real are those foods and liquids I intake.

Nagsisimula palang ang araw
Twitter na ang maririning na sigaw
Matapos lang maghugas ng katawan
Pangangati sa updates, magsisilbing agahan

Sa kainan kapag tanghalian
Instagram ang nasa hapag-kainan
Pagkuha ng litrato ng kung ano-ano
Abala sa masarap na pagsubo ng adobo.

Buong hapon di man lang nasinagan ng araw
Kuntento na sa computer na may makulay na ilaw
Ni pagpunta sa kubeta ay nagiging madalang
Nalilimutan ang oras na dapat pinagyayaman

Hindi man lang namalayan gumagabi na pala
Masyadong abala sa mga ilusyong nakikita
Gutom na ang tiyan at mainit na ang kinauupuan
Ilang oras ba namang babad sa kawalang kwentahan

Paulit-ulit at di nagbabago sa loob ng ilang araw
Hanggang sa makita mo ang sarili mong nahihirapan
Di kana makahinga, di kana makaalis dahil adik kana
Sige pagpatuloy mo yan at magiging buhay mo na yan

BUHAY NA WALANG KATUTURAN
PURO LANG KACHURVAHAN
PANAY ANG MGA KA-ANEKAN
GUSTO MO BA YAN?


*Darn* I don't want this kind of life. I don't like having this as a habit and as a way of living. Please stop me from being saturated by these media materials. It takes away my life and the room for me to develop and enrich my self. *Darn Darn Darn* I know it's not yet too late to change. Good for me to realize this thing so early.

I'm not saying that Social Networking Sites are bad., but of course too much of any thing is bad. Let's just use this social networking sites for the betterment of thy self and everyone. Let's be critical. Think before we click, and click what we only seek.
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non-believer lang po

Unknown Saturday, April 07, 2012
Note: Kung hindi ka kumportableng basahin ang nilalaman nito, eh dito pa lang tumigil ka na! But i would like also to raise that this is not a defensive post/act, sometimes things just need to be cleared up. Dapat nga pala di ako nagpo-post ng mga tulad nito, I should've keep it to myself or to people who share the same thoughts. Pero sige na...


Atheism is, in a broad sense, the rejection of belief in the existence of deities. In a narrower sense, atheism is specifically the position that there are no deities. Most inclusively, atheism is simply the absence of belief that any deities exist. Atheism is contrasted with theism, which in its most general  form is the belief that at least one deity exists.
                                                                                                                                                -Wikipedia


Many people label or assume I must be an atheist who hates and rejects religion. Well actually that is not the case. I proclaim myself as only to the ground of non-believers.

However I do admit, I went through many difficulties to the point I did go to an anti-religion phase in my life.

I just hate how many people, especially here in the Philippines, claimed to be religious behaved. I find the arguments against religion very compelling, and I thought that being an atheist/non-believer is a sign of being intellectually “strong” (of course I enjoy the smug feeling that I am better than the fools who believed.)

As a matter of fact, as I grew older, I stopped being an anti-religious.

Maybe one reason is that I achieved a better understanding of the arguments for and against religion. I tried to be rational and after reading and grasping arguments put forth by thinkers such as Aquinas, Descartes, Marx, and others, as well as the lectures in my Philosophy of Religion class, I find it difficult to dismiss completely the idea that God or a Supreme/Higher Being, as I prefer to call Him, exists.

Another reason is that I achieved a greater degree of personal maturity and also intellectual maturity, I hope. I am still irritated at the way some allegedly religious people behave. But I can now distinguish between a belief and those who claim to hold that belief. I do oppose those who use religion to justify their evil, their hatred and their prejudices. But I oppose them because they are evil–not because they claim to be religious.

In all honesty my religious beliefs are not settled yet. I have never had a definitive religious experience that convinced me of the truths of faith. I cannot believe just because some person in a fancy costume waves a sacred book around and tells me it is true. I cannot believe just because most people do.

In all fairness, I do want to believe. I would prefer a meaningful reality in which the wicked are brought to task, the good are duly rewarded and an afterlife awaits us all. I want that very much. But, I know that what I want (to believe as “true”) and what is true are two distinct matters.

At this point, I reject the hateful dogmatism of the extreme atheist and the fanatic theist. But, I do not really know what I believe. Of course, neither do most people. When I talk to people about their faith and their God, I observed that they tend to speak empty words and have no real understanding of what they claim to believe. Worse is, they often seem completely uninterested in learning anything about their alleged faith. It does strike me as ironic when they smugly judge me for my lack of faith when I am far more interested in what they believe than they are.

To end this dispute and reasoning, let me leave you a question...

Will that make an individual amoral and less human if he or she is a non-believer?

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lost in LAB

Unknown Saturday, February 18, 2012
Out of nowhere i suddenly feel blue. There's something which i can't understand within me. It's been quite a long time since i blog about my heart and consult if it's still beating. Instead of talking about how my Valentine's day went out "umeksena na naman bigla ito <3 in the most unexpected time. I suddenly asked myself "KAILAN KO KAYA MAHAHANAP ANG TRUE LOVE KO?" It's kinda corny and peculiar but i wasn't able to find myself for how many minutes that i ended up listening to sad musics.

I am a loner and they say i can live just by my self. I don't know! Maybe people see me as a strong and independent person. But like any other human being in this crazy wild world, i also need someone whom i can lean on and whom i can run to if i feel scared and when in doubt. It's hard you know but sometimes i am already used to it.

Just by myself i carry all the sad emotions which i cannot utter to anyone. Hindi ko na nga rin alam kung pano pa umiyak. Insensitive na yata ko masyado sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko na alam kung tao pa ba ako na marunong umiyak dahil nasasaktan at nalulungkot.

I'm not that kind of guy. I am not the typical man who lives his life to survive and to find true love. I am someone who wakes up everyday trying to explore new things and finding what's the real meaning of happiness. Neither i am after love, i am not after what love can offer me but i am after to how love can be so true for a person like me.

I am vague! And so be it. I just want to express what's within me...

I am capable of loving but not more than to how much i love myself. I love and endear people but not to the extent that i'll love them forever. For me everything has its limitations and boundaries. Thus, you cannot have everything all at once.

I am dreaming of a love that's like this and like that. A love which will make you stop in the middle of the rain. A love which can create unexpected performance from you. A love which can turn you into something brighter than sunshine. LOVE that can show more than the wonders you see. But this love sometimes, as others say, is not enough.

*I want to cry now* but no tears drop from my eyes.

Now i just want a love to prove me that "i CAN", i can do the things i thought i can't and that i can be HAPPY whichever road i choose to go.

I am talking too much of nonsense.
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run dry

Unknown Wednesday, January 18, 2012
days pass-by & as i get near the finish line
the road simply gets darker and narrower
and now little by little i can't see the way
it's also getting difficult to make any move
i'm afraid to get hurt, to stumble and to fall
how i wish i could fly and turn back the time
where my childish thoughts are never gone by
no THESIS, no HASSLE, no LOVE PROBLEM
only playmates, daydreams and dirty hands
...
....
.....
i wish everything in my mind will soon be fine
let be my guiding star and keep close to my side
so i could reach safe to the FINISH LINE. ^___^
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tiis = tisis

Unknown Friday, January 13, 2012
gaano man kahirap ang bawat pagbangon ko sa araw-araw

kailangan kong tumayo mula sa pagkakahimbig at maglakad

harapin ang lubak-lubak na daan at mga tampalasan sa gubat

di maiwasan masugatan, masaktan at mapuno ng iyong galit

di naman kasi pwedeng tumigil, sa paglalakbay ay mahuhuli

alam ko namang hindi ako nag-iisa, marami kami't sama-sama

sige lang kayod lang at sa huling yugto makikita ang bahaghari

doon magsasaya kasama ang mga diwata at diyosa sa kalupaan

magdidiwang sa kasipagan at sa kagalingan na iyong ipinamalas

HUWAG KANG SUMUKO, KUNDI SA HULI IKAW AY TALO!
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Naman OH!

Unknown Saturday, January 07, 2012
Minsan gusto kong gayahin si Jose Rizal, nasabi nya lahat ng gusto nyang sabihin…

Magawa ko kaya sabihin lahat, kahit kapalit nito ay ang aking kapahamakan…

Magawa ko kaya ipagpalit ang kinabukasan ko at ng aking pamilya sa pagkakadinig ng aking mga hinaing sa buhay?

Makita kaya nila ang aking nakikita o pipilitin lang akong tingnan ito sa ibang paraan?

Buhay nga naman…

*Letsugas*

*Linsyak*

*AnakngPut*

Oh kay hirap na...

O sadyang ang dami ko lang reklamo sa buhay!
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iamGOOD

Unknown Friday, November 04, 2011
It's my first post this month of November and i have not planned to do it this way. Instead i want something related to what happened to me last All Saints Day, but to keep in track i'll do my best to insert the woo-woos regarding to that matter and since the story i am going to tell you was before, during and after Halloween. Sorry in advance for the grammatical errors that i will make, i'll try to write in straight English.

Before Halloween
Some people might don't have the idea that i had given up love for i think four months already. I was hardly and badly hit by an unfortunate love affair (as i may say but don't get me wrong LOL). It hit straight all throughout my psyche that i was able to tell my self not to love anymore. I also had this thoughts in mind not to marry in the future because i do really admit i was not a good lover at all and that no one can stand along with me for too long. Yes, it's so sad on my part but as i said to my self and as expected I choose to get hurt when i choose to be in love and that what am i experiencing today is the consequence of letting my emotions overrule my sanity. But what else could be good if the happiness you want was in that the same person whom you cannot be with for the rest of your life. You'll be willing to sacrifice even a little bit of everything just to be with that person. Whatever to me! Because she was never mine, we're not always together, i don't know exactly what kind of relationship we had, but surely she was one of my sweetest whatever. And that made me think of her for once in a while, like recently before Halloween came I was really hoping if i could see that same person i'd go crazy enough. And that hope turns to be that way. We were able to meet discreetly (take note discreetly not secretly LOL) No matter how many times i told myself not to bother and be involve with her anymore, i couldn't resist because i found comfort by her side. Yes, i am afraid of loosing grip for the second time yet my heart is still willing to open its door to the same person who might not be willing and able to take good care of it but absolutely will able to keep it beating. But i know this time the best way to avoid heart ache while staying close to her is to stay just as friends. Hence, i was very glad to meet her again and was able to hear from her alluring lips the words "I MISS YOU SO MUCH". As much as i want to reply, it's a no no, i want to hold back as long as i can. No matter how much i want to kiss and hug her i am scared that my efforts to become a better person for the last few months will just put into waste. I'll just keep myself to where i should be and don't linger anymore to my failures - mostly because of her. I'll just stay as a good friend to her, try not to fix what has been damaged and let go of what had happened, or else i might end up crazy. I think we're good as friends - talk about silly things, annoy and tickle each other and what friends usually do. I am happy that i am not bitter anymore since i got the chance to meet her again even just for a little while. Moreover, sometimes it's nice to forgive people no matter what they did just for the simple fact that you still want them be in your life.


During Halloween
I think i wrote too much already... And i'm already hungry... Eating... And i'm done eating... I think i also lost the spirit of writing about this thing but i'll try hard. Actually every year i look forward in celebrating Halloween because i always got the chance to see my old friends at least for this day - spend too much time hanging around, buy some liquors and brag anyone's achievements. But this year, i was not able to meet any of them. I don't know why or maybe because i was busy spending quality time with my family and relatives. Nevertheless, none in the group bothered to call or even text me to come along with them. Twas okay, i'm just being pathetic. Anyway, this year's Halloween was one of the most meaningful ever, since i was able to give the kids their treat instead of tricks and i was able to go home to my hometown to share special moments with my family. I had realized how caring and loving was mom towards me. I am so lucky to have her so with my father who is very diligent and hard-working though i know among all his siblings my younger brother was his most precious baby and i am the least. My elder brother has been always good every time he'll try to make a conversation while my younger brother keeps on teasing me. I feel so blessed to have them all in the verge of my distorted life. If you could just read this post, i really mean it Ma, Pa, Manoy and Kim. I love you guys!


After Halloween
I'm already enrolled by this time and i suddenly miss my good friends back in Ateneo. For the past 4 years of my life they have been witnessing how i grew up and preach as a man. They saw me laughing out loud, get angry, upset and once see me crying (if that's really the case) They've been occupying a big part on me already that sometimes i am very scared of being lonely. I love the way we hugged each other and sometimes give each other a kiss on the cheek. I just love the way these people love the way i am without no condition. They were also the reason why i once told myself not to fall in love anymore because i already have them beside me. You know guys who you are. You all are one of the best. On the other side, after Halloween we went to the cemetery to visit the in loving memories of _______ and _______ and _______ and _______ and etc. LOL We are missing you guys but my Aunts will surely have their heart attacks due to severe shock/scare if you'll dare to visit us.  LMAO The family count are decreasing already so i must start making more babies now. WTH? What i was thinking after Halloween was the things after i leave this world. Honestly, i am not afraid of death, what am i afraid of was the thought of easily forgotten by the people without leaving them a sort of legacy that will make my name memorable and a proof that i live my life earnestly. That's the thing i am learning to make all throughout my life if you would mind to ask. And if i die someday i am really serious about having my body cremated and send a portion of it to the moon. That's was way cool than being buried and decomposed after a year. I would like my ashes float in the ether and fall to the moon after a year. I heard it and saw it personally on TV, and said it would cost about 200,000. If i could just do it myself why not. Anyway after Halloween i got again the chance to see her. Of course to some point I am happy especially knowing that she's been looking for me all day long and that she really wants to see me for no valid reason. I don't give meaning to that since we already cleared each other as friends. I really like the way i get speechless whenever i see her and the way she tease me for being so conscious about myself seeing her. It's also good that for the first time she was able to see my family and relatives who are very supportive to me and that i already regain myself from the troubles she made. She's not anymore my life like what i used to say before, but she's still a part of it i'm sure because she taught me how to give without asking for any return. I am tired already writing this entry and i still have to wake up very early tomorrow. So that will be enough for now.

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What's good about pain?
it gives you time...
time to realize
time to be stronger
time to be a fighter
time to be a better man
time to consider advice
time to move on
time to let go
and above all...
time to find yourself and your true happiness.
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Actually, i know i should not be writing all these stuffs because it's a window to my private life and i know people might be able to read this and misinterpret what am i trying to convey. But still i think this is worth blogging. Come what may! I know i am GOOD now.
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beginningLIFE

Unknown Sunday, October 09, 2011
For many stories that have been told already, about people and the great things they did, may it be about art, war, excellence, leadership or something of big big pride, their great lives started from the day they were born up to the day they close their eyes. But for individuals like me, who looks the same as everyone around me, it’s different… a lot different. My real life did not start from the day I was born but instead, it started when I became part of a world different to mine, completely strange.

I admit that high school wasn’t really about school for me. It was about being a kid at the same time an adult. Where I did what I wanted to in the extent of my limitations. From friends to hang-outs, those were the life of teenagers. Non-stop fun was the scenery even if it is in the brink of quarterly exams. We kids are just unstoppable. But everything has endings, after we graduated, the fun was said to be just beginning but for us, it was the last of our happy days.

That was my so called life, but there was no meaning. Just like for toddlers where nothing is good or bad, they just do what they want since they still don’t know the rules in this world. So there it was, the fun we had vanished slowly, but I tried to bring the fun along with me. In the sense of I still don’t want to let go of my childhood and embrace the responsibilities of adults alike. Up to now, I don’t know how it happened but eventually, I managed to be the responsible person I imagined I would be.

And it all started in college, when I entered in this prestigious institution. Here, it is different, really different, not because religion was involved, but here, real life awaits me. The earlier time of my life was just fun, no grief, pain or suffering. It all started here, where I saw the things around me. And still, it is a continuous effort to live and deal with them for the rest of my life. Nakakapagod lang minsan but then again I have to push through because this is what they call life; continuous struggle to survive.

My beginnings will soon start again after five months. I feel so weak and exhausted already. Give me sun, give me rain, give me love, give me someone to love, or could you give me just another happy day. :(
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THESIS Round 1 (FAIL)

Unknown Sunday, October 02, 2011

There will come a time in every fourth year student in our course that he/she will go in the battle field against three notorious panelists with only documents and a power point presentation as arsenals. Yup, this is Thesis Defense, and we are now running here and there just to finalize our strategy to win this war.
The first battle (Proposal Defense) already began and the three of us were stunned in answering the panel’s questions, even so, we defended our problem but however our documents and theories received denunciation and garnered with no flying colors . We were the second one out that battleground and we did not know what to expect, we did not know what to feel, and we did not know what to do anymore. Throwing them English explanations for our problem was the hardest part… loosing ammunition in speaking English is the worst dead end one can ever encounter. But what's more worst to that is to make your thesis looks like a trash and was meant to be a research paper for some stupid course.
The battle went on with the other groups and in my opinion, me and my thesis mates were LOSERS. T___T  And we wish ourselves next time the same victory and glory the other groups reached.
Move on... The battle has ended, still there is a war we have to win… next stop, Advertising.
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RN: REGISTERED O REJECTED NURSE KA BA?
A DOCUMENTARY
Alvin Cabaltera | Juan Nicolas | Mark London Guiling
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nickNAME -_-

Unknown Sunday, September 25, 2011


*big sigh* again last night!

Indeed, life is not about looking back and wishing that today is the same with the past. Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete. Life is sometimes about letting go, setting free the things that makes you unhappy and does not deserve to stay in your life anymore.

Last night, we had a plan to visit my friend in their house because her father was dead. It was already 11:00pm when i arrived for i have to travel back in our town because i have my class in the city. I was not able to join them in the ride going to the wake place, and just when i enter the place i noticed some of the eyes were looking at me. I cannot held my head up and i was already unease with the feeling. And finally one of my friend tapped me in my back to say Hi, i think she's the only one who was able to recognize me. I don't know where to position myself in the crowd.I feel like i'm a different person. The people i expect to be there have left already a minute before i reached the place. So i just sit on a chair observing people discreetly.

First, i saw a friend who used to hold my hand before - even the first time we met. We're no longer close maybe because we never keep ourselves intouch with each other. I never pushed to chat with her but as i looked at her, she grown into a beautiful lady but her aura stays the same and she's still the friend i met years ago. I also heard her saying 'si nick' and caught her glancing at me as if she want to talk. We never did, i'm too aloof to start a conversation and besides i don't know too much about her.

Also, i saw a relative-friend whom i never had a close companionship since high school. There's no problem with me, maybe he's just uncomfortable talking to me. He just say 'kumusta na nick?' but we're good friends it's just that we seldom talk. Happy to see that the man i knew before was still the man i know in the present. There's only few updates on him and sort of modification on a subject which is sensitive to discuss. I'm also happy to see him very happy and proud of what he is right now.I can see a good person in him, a true-lover and a nice friend.

Next, i saw familiar faces (some i forgot the names). They were all sitting around the table and as usual they all drink and smoke. They asked me 'nick madya na digdi kana magtukaw!' i refrained going inside the table. I even refused to drink and smoke. They already matured physically but the subject of their jokes were still the same. I could not relate and discuss what is on my mind. They could still laugh and bang each other like before. They rarely talk to me and seldom ask me for a picture. I don't know what's on my face that they were all afraid to talk to me. I never dared to socialize except with one new buddy who tries hard to communicate with me but everytime he talks i don't find any answer to myself.

Then, i saw my two former teacher in high school. They were still the same, they're still best friend, and their smiles never change. I found myself walking to where they stay. I greeted them and had a plain talk about me in college. They said 'oh mr. nick dino' you seemed to be a bit thin and look quite different. By the time they left they asked me to invite them on my graduation celebration. I said yes with a smile on my face.

And i saw my very good friend Tin-Tin. I'm glad to see her smiling even though it's very hard to accept the death of her papa. She's really Tin-Tin who cries hard, but after loosing for a bit she will surely be back as a strong and jolly woman. I hold her hand as much as i can because that's the only thing i could offer her. I don't even know how to comfort someone, so just before i leave i hugged her tight. However, what marked on my head was the phrase she told me "ibahon kana kaya nick!." Only four words but it created a big impact on my whole being.

*deep sigh*

To see all of them once again after years or months was a reenergizer to my heart. But what happened to me? I suddenly asked myself before going to sleep last night. Where is Nico now? How is he now? Who is Nico now?

Can someone tell me what's happening? Nico is still here. I am with you guys can't you see me. I always see to it that i go home weekly. I'm fine though not that so fine. I'm better and on my way to be the best. Don't you like it? I may completely change physically but i don't think it change also the real thing in me. Hmmmn it's just that i don't drink and smoke now, i don't talk when no one begins to talk to me, and i prefer to be away from the crowd. Yes i know you all change and so with me, but why is that the change that happened to me was different from your change? 

For once, i want to go back in the past where i am loved/accepted by everybody, happy and no worries, free and always excited, then i will just live there for the entire years of my life. I miss to be called 'NICK'.

Nick who use to be NICE, INNOCENT, CUTE and KIND. Apart from that, all i can remember are good things in his past. Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick where are you now? Everybody in the house is looking for you. They miss you a lot, they miss the real and the old you. We'll be waiting for you no matter what, because it's never to late to have a life and never too late too late to change one.

I know what and who is to be blame.
I'LL BE OKAY SOON. SMILE :DDD

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yeahYEAH

Unknown Wednesday, September 21, 2011
finally after weeks and weeks of haggardness
finally after extensive research and readings we had
finally after all the gutom and gutom ulit moments
finally after revisions after revision
finally after getting stuck up with mess
and finally after getting my head cracked

FINALLY my Thesis is growing up!


i can see my self now on graduation with my friends
i can see how fulfilling it was to have 37 pages of writing
i can imagine how blessed i am to have such brain.
HAHAHAHAHA i wanna laugh til i drop.

THESIS101 next time ah be nice to me again.
n_n
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7eleven

Unknown Saturday, September 10, 2011
hindi naman ako yung tipo ng tao na babad lagi sa inuman
sa katunayan nga bibihira lang ako kung pumatol sa alak
minsan lang ako uminom at makipag-inuman sa buhay ko
pero ngayong gabi sagot ko ang inuman naming magpinsan
ewan ko ba kung anong pumasok sa kukote ko at nagyaya ako
siguro dahil mapera ako ngayon at feeling ko nasa kondisyon ako
nakailang bote na kami ng beer, siguro pangatlo o apat ko na to
pauli-ulit parin umiikot sa isipan ko ang mga pangyayari kanina
hindi ko mawari ang sarili: sa dapat gawin at reaksyon na ipakita
pinagtatagpo pa yata kami ni tadhana, pero sa mga di inaasahan
mga di inaasahan na muli kaming magtatagpo, at hindi siguro dapat

kakagaling ko lang sa banyo para umihi at nakailang tungga na ako
nakaidlip na nga ang pinsan ko, lasing na siguro ang loko-loko
pero ako buhay parin na nag-iisip ng tungkol sayo, tungkol sa atin
hay nagmumukhang gago na naman ako, at nagsalita ang pinsan ko
"16 daw at ewan di ko na naintindihan" siguro sa 16 may magaganap
aasahan ko ang pagdating at pagkikita nating muli sa darating na 16
sana makapag-usap na tayo ng maayos at ibuhos mo ng lahat sakin
handa naman akong tanggapin basta para sa ikaluluwag mo
kasalanan ko naman talaga siguro, kasalanan ko ang lahat lahat
pasensya kana kung nagkakaganito ako, baliw na yata ako
nag-iilusyon parin ako na balang araw tayo parin sa huli
sa huli na kahit walang ginagawa at pinagpapaguran ngayon
puro kasi ako ganito at ganito, hindi ako marunong magmahal
tulad ng pagmamahal na karaniwang naibibigay ng normal na tao
kung mababasa mo man ito sana naintindihan mo ang nais ko.

hindi ko naman ipinagkakait ang sarili ko na maging magkaibigan tayo
muli muli sa pagkakaibigan naman talaga nagsimula ang lahat
at kung di papayagan ni tadhana, sana magkaibigan parin sa huli
kausapinm mo ako, magalit ka, basta marinig ko lang boses mo
lasing na siguro ako!

LASINGGERO ka ngayong gabi. =p
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kwento galing MCDO (di mo to magegets)

Unknown Thursday, September 01, 2011
XIE just had a conversation with someone close to her heart last day, November 30, 2010, the last date of the month before December comes. She's been with JAH since then; when Xie began to open and started to live a life in the bitterness of this world. Xie is not a typical girl with different kind of thinking, she's platonic. While Jah is like everybody's girl with common ideals in her mind, but she's weak. Everybody knows how close they are, but no one has an idea how deeply they were broken and devastated by LOVE - by their past relationships. Just last day, they were talking and eating sundaes at Mcdo. They were just in their usual tone of conversation and oftentimes they laugh to death. Until one finally, or might as well to say, the two finally began to go deeper... discuss serious matters... argue... reflect... laugh... and save the memory.

INTRO:
Interior - sa loob ng Mcdo kung saan 1st floor lang ang ukupado, sakto lang ang tao, at nakaupo sila sa may malapit sa counter.
Exterior - Magulong kalsada at maraming taong naktambay sa labas, iba't ibang repleksyon ang makikita sa bawat mukha.

XIE: dito nalang tayo maupo, ibili mo na rin lang ako ng isang hot caramel sundae.

JAH: Okay! at pahiram narin ng sampung piso kasi kulang ako.

Habang umo-order si Jah, hindi maiwasang tumingin tingin sa paligid ni Xie. Baka may makasalubong ang mata na kakilala at makalimutan na ang kanina lang na kaniyang nakasalubong sa daan. Isang pamilyar na mukha, at mukhang hindi ni Xie makakalimutan malagas man ang lahat ng kahoy sa kagubatan. Nataranta sya sapagkat hindi nya nalaman ang dapat gawin at natural na reaksyon. Maya-maya pa'y nahuli niya ang kanyang sarili na nakatitig sa isang batang lalaki sa may kalapit mesa. Una nyang napansin ang suot na antipara nito na medyo nahuhulog na sa pagkakapatong sa ilong. Para bang nakikita ni Xie ang sarili sakanya sa kabila ng kaibahan ng kasarian. Napaisip si Xie:

*Sana hindi siya matulad sa akin, sana hindi nya tangkain pasukin ang mundo na sa di tamang panahon aking piniling tahakin, mahirap at magulo, higit sa lahat masakit masaktan dahil sa kasakiman ng ibang tao. Kung maaari ko lang syang lapitan at pagsabihan, huwag mo madaliin ang buhay, magpakasaya ka habang bata at huwag hanapin ang bagay na walang kasiguruhan. Sana sana sana huwag syang matulad sa akin na maagang umibig at sawing iniwan ng inibig.*

JAH: *smile* Friend eto yung sundae mo

XIE: Tnx friend *smile*

JAH: Anong iniisip mo Xie di ka masyadong nagsasalita

XIE: Wala tinitignan ko lang yung bata kanina dyan sa may kalapit mesa, ang cute kasi.

JAH: Saan? uhmmmn? hehe ang cute rin nung isang bata parang ako lang, kumusta pala?

XIE: Huh? bakit?

JAH: Wala naman, hahaha

XIE: Wala dina-divert ko lang ang sarili ko para makalimutan yung nakita kanina lang.

JAH: Ehem!

XIE: Maling timing lang siguro, nagbabagong buhay na ako Jah at inaayos ang aking sarili para sa kanya. Na para sa hinaharap kung kami'y muling magkikita ay may ihaharap na akong mukha at kaya ko na syang kausapin ng normal na walang pag-aalinlangan. Di ba nakwento ko na rin naman sayo dati pa.

JAH: Sino ba ang ating pinag-uusapan? haha

XIE: Siya yung alam mo na, yung nakasalubong natin kanina lang.

JAH: Ah akala ko yung isa, di mo naman kasi sinabi agad.

XIE: Hay naku, ewan ko sayo, i'm moving on na friend at ilang buwan na ang nakakalipas, pinagsisisihan ko na ang lahat, kung bakit ko pa binuhay ang mundo na dapat pala hindi ko pinagnasahan. Hindi ko naman kasi alam na ganoon yun nakakatakot at kagulo, hindi mo naman kasi ako binalaan. Sana di na nangyari sa akin ang nangyari pa saiyo.

JAH: *speechless* sometimes you need to experience such pain, aaminin ko nasaktan din ako ng sobra sobra dahil sa letseng PAG-IBIG na yan, ang salitang hindi mo kayang pakawalan sa iyong  bibig. Masakit pero tanggap ko na at kailangan ko magpatuloy ng wala na sya, anong magagawa ko kung may mahal na siyang iba, at hindi ako yun. Ibinigay ko naman ang lahat pero kulang parin sapagkat iba naman pala ang kanyang hinahanap. Oo, tanga parin ako minsan pero hindi na ngayon ng dumating ang isang taong muling magbibigay kulay sa aking buhay, mas matatag na ako at marunong na akong mag-isip bago gumawa ng isang desisyon. Sana ikaw din. Bilib nga ako sayo.

XIE: *speechless din* Sana nga nakamove on kana. Kasi MOVING ON and LETTING GO is par different from each other, I must say. Pwedeng nakamove-on kana nga pero ang tanong kung nakalet-go kana rin ba, o pwede naman nag-let go ka nga pero hindi ka naman nag-move on. Sa sitwasyon ko, i've already moved on and as i promise myself, kung ikaw it took you two years to move on and maybe you've already let him go, ako sinabi ko sa sarili ko tama na ang 2 months na sakit ng pag move on at sabay na rin ang pag let go. Actually this is the last day of it, it's been two months since then, dalawang buwan na ang nakalipas ng iniwan rin ako ng isang taong sa tingin ko hindi naman karapat-dapat sa pagmamahal na ibinigay ko pero nagpaloko parin ako, pinili ko kasing maging gago, ibinigay ko ang lahat lahat, hindi ko alam marami pala kami sa puso nya. Isa lang ako sa mga isda na pinagpipilian nya sa isang malawak na palaisdaan. Sh*t ako pero okay lang, kaya kong magbago at maging bagong tao, para sainyo ang ginagawa ko, hindi ko man maibalik ang dating ako, at least i will assure others that i'll become a better person sooner or later. Alam kong hindi na sya maalis sa buhay ko pero naniniwala ako na balang araw katulad mo may magbabago ng mga masasamang karanasan ko at magiging isang aral nalang ito. Hindi pa ako handa umibig at parang ayaw ko ng nga munang umibig. Siguro ang pag-ibig para dun lang sa mga taong manhid at matalino pagdating sa usapang puso. Hindi ako magaling dun, mag-aaral muna ako, at bukas December na, asahan mong nakamove-on at nakalet-go na ako Jah. Ibang-iba siguro talaga ako kumpara sainyo. STROOOOOOOOOOOOONG AKO!

JAH: Hmmmmn para ngang wala naman nangyari sayo, hindi ko halata. Pero pagmamahal ba yun na hindi kaman lang nag-mourn o para bang nawala sa ulirat. Pag-ibig ang pinag-uusapan natin pero parang wala lang talaga nangyari sayo kung hindi ka pa nagkuwento sakin.

XIE: Hindi naman kasi ganun, sa akin tama ng naramdaman mo ang sakit. Huwag mo ng ipakita kasi ikaw lang din naman ang kawawa. Magaling ako humawak pagdating sa aking emosyon. Hindi lahat ng bagay dapat ipakita sa tao. Sapat ng may isang taong nakakaalam ng pinagdaraanan ko at hindi ko lang ito tinatago sa puso ko. Pero ang umiyak para sa sakit, hindi ko ugali yun, ang paniniwala ko kasi, ang pag-iyak dahilan ng sobrang galak, kasiyahan, at kung anong magagandang bagay na nag-uumapaw.

JAH: Sabagay may punto ka dun Xie, o siguro ibang klase ka lang talaga mag-isip. Iba ka sa mga tipikal na tao na nabubuhay dito sa mundo. Strong ka nga at iyan ay napatunayan ko. Sana ako rin.

XIE: Strong ka rin kaya Jah, strong sa inuman.

JAH: LOL, walang ya ka talaga, natatawa na lang ako sapagkat isang pag-uusap na naman na makabuluhan ang nagawa natin at para tayong shongak, balang araw maaalala ko ito, baka ikaw din, at magtatawanan uli tayo. Tatandaan ko ang mga sinabi mo.

XIE: Tara na!

EXTRO: 
Interior - Tatayo ang dalawa at aakbay si Jah kay Xie, nakangiting maglalakad palabas
Extro - Naghihintay ang isang grupo ng mandurukot...

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