Him vs Her (Wants and Needs)

Read across the web and found it very funny but indeed true. Maybe this is one of the many reasons or the best explanation why i can't stand a relationship for too long. I hope this will not offend anyone from the opposite sex. 


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him with peace
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don't bother him with his movements

When Ignorance is Bliss

I deplore
     being ignored.

For---

I am not a bore!

But it's perplexing sweet,
      and quite sexy too---
      to be ignored,
      ignored by you.


                       -Lang Leav

Again...

Again...
And again.

I could not put into a clear context what i am feeling right now. After a weekend of stress-free life and bonding with our new found friends, i could not grasp what's happening again with my own psyche.

The feeling is heavy. The feeling is exhausting. The feeling is f*cking helpless and disturbing.

*Arghh*

I just want to go home, or ride a longboard, that would be awesome. Maybe i'm just having my seasonal mood change again and i think it's getting worst.

I want to know!

Just Friends

I know that I don't own you,
     and perhaps I never will,
     so my anger when you're with her,
     I have no right to feel.


I know that you don't owe me,
     and I shouldn't ask for more;
     I shouldn't feel so let down,
     all the time when you don't call.


What I feel --- I shouldn't show you,
     so when you're around I won't;
     I know I've no right to feel it --
     but it doesn't mean I don't.


                               -Lang Leav

Moot Mood

There are a few moments in our lives where we can not clearly describe how we really feel. It's just plain blank and emotionless. You can't even think of simple things which will probably make you feel a bit more lively. It's a feeling that i can't even elaborate into details because it's too vague to understand.

Crap!

Holy sh*t!

Fvck!

What am i saying?

Maybe i'm having my seasonal mood swings, and this time i don't know what kind of mood i am having. Maybe i lacked sleep last night, or maybe i forgot to bring my soul with me while i was dreaming. The situation where i am standing right now is too much for me to take.

Oh i should stop writing because i might go out of one's tree. The silence and obscurity within me is killing me now.

P.S
Next time we meet, please do give me a hug. I need and missed that badly, it brings me sanity!

Lonely No More

"Whatever you’re going through, it isn’t a lonely venture."

          Trust me, everything will be just fine maybe not now but maybe someday in your most unexpected moment. I hope you can make it in any way, because in some parts of this big big Universe many people are experiencing the same things as you do; or even carrying much much heavier loads than you have.

          If you feel a bit overloaded and you feel like everything insides you are meant to explode any minute. Just stop for a minute and smile. Maybe sing if you can. Dance in the middle of the rainfall. Drink until you drop. Travel to an island you've never heard. Don't be afraid to cry and try unusual things because you'll never know what kind of relief and happiness these could bring to you.

          But if you really feel like breaking up or killing yourself already, call me maybe? Maybe i could offer my shoulders both left and right, whichever you like. I'm also giving a free hug!

           ^_______^

Changing skin

How did you like my new blogger theme?

I had a hard time choosing and customizing this template.
As much a possible i wanted it simpler but bolder.
I wanted it easy to navigate and have lesser tabs.

I think i finally found the right theme, for now.
I hope i'm back to writing, i hope to find inspirations to write.
I still have 45 more blog posts to write to complete my bucket list.

See you again!

Xs and Os

Quote #02

Quote #01

Side Note #01

"There are so many things I wanted to do, but I ended up doing not much. I worry i'll get to the end of my life feeling I haven't done all I wanted to do." 


I suddenly felt the need to write just to express what's really inside me... yet i am not sure if i'm in the right mood to blabber much of these random emotions... i want to scream and shout right now; to release all the stress and troubles that i've been keeping for quite a long time already... there's so much i wish i could tell, there's so much i wish i could still carry, and there's so much in me that i myself can not understand.


I see people doing great things in their life... everyday i see friends moving straight towards their chosen track... i see them going and going, as far as they can, as free as a free bird... when i am here stuck in front of my laptop.


Save me from insanity!

The Third Kind

It's been a while since my last visit in this website. I wonder if someone is still checking my page. Well never-mind, i just want to share something which i have read while browsing my Twitter account (by the way follow me on Twitter buddy, @juanhappiness) Going back, there's this article which i do think makes a lot of sense because it is really an eye-opener since it's International Day Against Homophobia. It points to us Filipinos to change already our perceptions towards the gay community. We're living in a new world and now it's high time for us to live harmoniously and equally with this people, like the way we simply embrace technology as part of our lives.

As for mine, i agree that there's something wrong with this people (i could not direct exactly where), yet i don't see anything bad inside them being on the wrong side. Maybe they're just the unique type or something which was not properly acknowledged in the first place (because the bible said "God created only a man and a woman.")

Anyhow, i don't want to dwell with my opinion anymore because this article will justify everything.

Things gay people are still told

It's been 15 years since I came out as a gay woman in the Philippines, and even if Aiza Seguerra is now an out adult lesbian with a girlfriend, Rustom Padilla is now BB Gandanghari, Pinoy Big Brother always has gay characters, and Boy Abunda is now out and proud, an educated Pinay I met recently still asked me, "When did you decide to become a tomboy?"

Is the Philippines regressing in terms of gender sensitivity? The LGBT movement seems to be more visible than ever with strong leaders, powerful party list campaigns, and support from both political and celebrity realms. Why does it seem like people's notions about homosexuals have not changed?

For starters, what I'd like to know is why I'm still being told the same things I was told a decade and a half ago. "Sayang, ang ganda mo pa naman! (Too bad you're gay when you're so pretty!)" as if gay people should only be the ugly second choice. You'd have to be blind to think that only unattractive and unwanted girls are gay. Or do our qualities need to be validated by the opposite sex in order to be considered worthy?

Beyond convention

"Which one of you is the man?" they still ask, erasing decades of female empowerment, as if a relationship cannot exist without a male figure and that someone always has to "lead." A popular online meme says, "Asking who's the 'man' and who's the 'woman' in a same-sex relationship is like asking which chopstick is the fork." Is it really so difficult to imagine a relationship between equals? (READ:Being Gay. Really.)

In these modern times of single mother households, separation/divorce, absentee fathers and extramarital affairs, if your mind is still fixated on a heterosexual relationship construct as the only way to go, then you are approaching obsolescence, if not deeply lost in denial. You need to open your eyes beyond convention to see that alternatively structured families have existed since the beginning of time.

Is parenthood the only way to happiness?

Why am I still pitied because I (supposedly) will never have a family? I always wonder if people speak with this much insensitivity to infertile couples. Do they not know that same-sex couples have a multitude of options if they choose to have children? There are donors and surrogates and adoptions, to name a few.

Also, are people's lives automatically invalid and unhappy just because they don't have children? I know many happy straight couples who enjoy their decision to be child-free, and they are far from lonely and loveless. And just because same-sex couples cannot accidentally get pregnant doesn't mean they won't purposely reproduce. Having to go through extra steps only means that every single child brought into a family with gay parents is wanted. How often can you truly say that about the offspring of heterosexual unions?

We spend so much time telling young women that their purpose does not have to revolve solely around marriage and motherhood, yet we make them feel abnormal if that's not a solid part of their plan. We tell young men to enjoy their lives before having children, but begrudge them if they choose to never cross that path. It sounds to me like we need to make up our minds about how we raise our kids. Do we want them to explore their full potential and follow whatever their heart desires, but only on the condition that it eventually lands where we want?

Homosexuality is a sin?

"I have nothing against gay people, but the Bible says it's a sin," someone always seems to remind me. These types often conveniently forget that pre-marital sex, contraception, and masturbation are also all sins that they don't mind committing. In fact, biblical text and religious teachings are much clearer about the latter offenses than with the vague mention of gay sex. I would be so much more in awe of people who used their Holy Book and followed it completely without question. Oh wait, sorry, is the fact that you masturbate a personal issue that is none of my business? Funny how my bedroom practices are somehow your concern!

I always hear straight people defend their own biases by bragging about how many gay friends they have. Many claim to support gay rights, but when faced with the possibility of having a gay child or family member, they can't be too quick to want to nip it in the bud like it's their duty to rid them of this defect. It doesn't take a genius to know that complete acceptance must first include the people you love. We need to ask -- is homosexuality really okay with you, or only if it exists outside your home?

Maybe the root of unchanging (or regressing) views towards the gay and lesbian community lies in the treatment of homosexuality as "otherness," something that's only seen on television and in the movies, as something that is laughable or temporary, or in beauty parlors, parades, or in other people's homes, instead of in our everyday lives. Who in this day and age doesn't have a gay relative or coworker? Yet when confronted with one of our own, we treat gayness as a disease or a condition that should be tolerated like a disability or cured like an STD, instead of a reality that is as inconsequential as the color of a child's hair or his preference for cookies over candy -- qualities that are, in fact, unique and should be celebrated.

Even if you're like that

How many times have I been told, "You're so lucky to have friends even if you're like that" (suggesting I deserve less), or insulted with "Be grateful that we've accepted you for what you are" (like it's a favor or a debt). Wow, thank you! I'm so honored you accept me, dirty little immoral me, rug-munching sinful me, child-free unconventional embarrassing me. Screw that!

As gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders, we also need to start treating ourselves with higher regard. We need to stop accepting discrimination as a given, we need to stop apologizing for who we are and how we dress or act, and we need to stop acting like we're begging to be accepted, because we're not. (READ: Study: Gays who come out are less stressed)

The way I've always seen it is that gay people will continue to live their fabulous lives with or without your approval. We will be good citizens, build our families, and surpass our challenges regardless of your input or the inequities you continue to impose on us. It is our intolerant family members, friends and acquaintances who will miss out. They will never know what's closest to our hearts if they choose to not be a part of it. They will continue to raise children to be hateful and bigoted, or worse, they will teach their child that who they are will cause them loneliness, misery and eternal damnation. I'm not sure there is a greater sin than that.

Here's to hoping that in the next 15 years we'll see the end to these misconceptions, because I'm sure I'm not alone in the exhaustion of correcting stagnant minds.


Shakira Andrea Sison currently works in the financial industry while dabbling in several unrelated projects and interests. She is a veterinarian by education and was managing a retail corporation in Manila before relocating to New York in 2002. Follow her on Twitter: @shakirasison.